Regardless of whether you fall into the “one fckn Powerball“ camp, or if you have money leaking out of your asshole like you’ve swallowed a $50 million cheque covered in curry powder, we totally understand your sexual attraction to real estate. You’ll find no judgement here, no siree. What you do in your alone time with a gallon of ice-cream, KY Jelly, Domain.com.au and a latex glove is totally your business (proof of which you can find HERE).
Because you’re keen lovers of real estate realness, we’re pleased to share with you that Channel Nine has just announced a new show you’ll be wanting to add to the good ol’ ice-cream / KY / Domain / glove line-up.
Kate Langbroek (of Hughsey and Kate on KIIS-FM) and Cam Knight (generator of lols through the art of comedy, and ~television personality~) are the new hosts of realty porn offering, Unreal Estate.
Firstly, great name. Simple and effective. Whoever came up with it should work at that website, PEDESTRIAN.TV, or whatever the fuck it’s called – the place that likes the puns ‘n shit.
Secondly, the show’s got a pretty decent concept behind it.
Langbroek and Knight will offer a voyeuristic insight into the homes of (what we’re going to assume are at least semi-famous) ‘Strayan celebrities. Regardless of their A, B, C or D-lister status, who the hell doesn’t love a cheeky peek into someone’s decadent dwelling?
The hosts / crazYyYyYYyYyyY kids are going to be getting into a whole lot of trouble by doing things like, rummaging through the contents of peoples’ fridges, and having a dip in their pools – y’know, real crazy fucking shit.
Honestly, Langbroek and Knight could have an on-screen presence as enthralling as Yoko Ono, the guests could be absolute potatoes, and it really wouldn’t matter.
We’ll be watching for one reason, and one reason alone: to violently masturbate over top-notch Aussie properties.
Unreal Estate is currently in production – we’ll let you know more details as they arise. In the interim, ready the marital aides for a brutal and imminent workout.
Photo: Realestate.com.au.
