Not a drill. REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lo, we as Australians fucking love a good bargain. It’s as engrained into our DNA as a cold tinnie on a hot Christmas morning before the ambulance arrives to haul off Uncle Greg (For god’s sake, Greg, we told you not to give Timmy’s new skateboard a try. You started on the sherry at 7am. You were an accident waiting to happen).
And seldom have there been better sources of savings than our much beloved Tightarse Tuesdays down at the local Village.
The cheap movie night served us many purposes; a chance to skirt the horrendous price gouging that cinemas call “normal” pricing, the chance to catch the latest Hollywood blockbusters, and a weak excuse to warble out the all-important “will you go out with me?” question to cute Suzie from down the road.
But now, in an instant, all that’s been yanked away from us.
Village Cinemas have revealed changes to the way that their “Member Tuesdays” (it’s bloody Tightarse Tuesday and literally everyone knows it, stop kidding yourselves) work.
From Tuesday, April 26th onwards, the discounted ticket prices will no longer apply to just any old bozo who rocks up with a Kylie Jenner and a fistful of pub change.
Per an announcement on the Village website, the discounts will only be available to members of their Village Movie Club loyalty program.
“Village Cinemas are committed to rewarding our most loyal customers, our Village Movie Club members. And from Tuesday 26 April, $13 Tuesdays will be exclusive to VMC members only.”
Oh, sure. Signing up for the damned club isn’t actually that hard. But who’s got time for that? Signing up for it, waiting for the card to arrive in the mail, forgetting you’re a member when the cashier asks you and then spending five minutes trying to remember exactly where in your godforsaken wallet you stashed that shit.
It totally flies in the face of all loyalty programs worth their salt: if you can’t take a hole punch to it and fang yourself a free whatever with one 2-minute browse through the aisles of Officeworks, it ain’t bloody worth it.
Pull yrselves together, Village. Don’t kill Tightarse Tuesday.
It’s bloody unAustralian, is what it is.
Source: Village Cinemas.
