I’ve seen some pretty fucking absurd headlines about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry in my limited time on this cursed land, but probably the wildest story to ever grace my screen is how there were 10,000 year old human remains found near their California home. Hoo boy, just wait till the British tabloids get a load of this one.

According to the Daily Mail, human remains (specifically, bones) were found on May 24 on a street neighbouring the ex-royal couple’s mansion. No, not actually on their estate, but on a different street. The remains had no actual connection to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s house, unlike what some very misleading tabloid headlines are saying.

The bones are extremely old – like, potentially over 10,000 years old – and probably belong to a Native American. It’s not confirmed by officials yet, but a spokesperson said it’s possible that the remains belong to the Chumish people, who have lived in the area for nearly 11,000 years.

The Santa Barbara Sheriff’s office is currently working with the local Native American commission to figure out what the next steps are while they wait for a full investigation by a forensic anthropologist.

We know how obsessed the British tabloids are with demonising Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, and I’m not keen to see what nasty accusations will come from this particular story.

I mean, just this week Piers Morgan wrote a really shitty column about Japanese tennis player Naomi Osaka leaving the French Open, and despite it having nothing to do with the royal couple, he STILL managed to drag Meghan and Harry into it by claiming Naomi learnt to manipulate the press from them.

I wonder what ridiculous reason the tabloids will think of to blame Meghan Markle for this one? I honestly can’t think of a relation, but I’m also not freakishly obsessed with her the way the British media, and particularly Piers Morgan, are. I’m sure they’ll figure something out – they haven’t failed at disappointing us yet.