Let’s talk about the things that that the La Junta Goblin is not.

So I woke up Sunday morning and saw this on my camera and am trying to figure out…what the heck?? First I saw the shadow walking from my front door then I saw this thing….has anyone else seen this on their cameras?? The other two cameras didn’t pick it up for some reason.

Posted by Vivian Gomez on Thursday, 6 June 2019

The La Junta Goblin is not a puppet. As you can see from the video, the creature emerges from the inside of the house and then walks down the side of the house and out onto the driveway. Even ignoring the meaty sound of the thong-clad feet that are visibly and audibly making heavy contact with the ground, the elaborate marionette setup required to seamlessly pull this off would be very expensive, difficult to operate, and (most importantly, to my mind) impossible to put in place without the neighbours noticing.

The La Junta Goblin is not a viral marketing stunt for Harry Potter: Wizards Unite, the wizarding world’s answer to Pokémon GO. While this might seem like a tantalisingly satisfying answer, it doesn’t quite hold up to scrutiny. People suggested this one as an explanation because the video was posted the month after the beta for the game went live, and because the thing in the video looks skinny and largely unclothed, much like Dobby.

If this is the case, why go to all the effort of filming the video in a tiny town in rural Colorado, to be posted to the Facebook account of a very real woman that very much does live there in real life, only to have it not tie back to Harry Potter in any meaningful way? Why put Dobby in thongs? Why make Dobby do a brief chicken dance? Why make him walk so weird? Why have him just leave a house without doing magic or anything? Why not take credit for it while it’s peaking in the news cycle? It makes simply no sense.

The La Junta Goblin is not aliens. If were to finally find out that Aliens are real, it would not be in a video of one of them wearing thongs.

As we have said before, it seems that the most likely explanation is that the mysterious goblin from outer space is actually a 9-year-old boy called Bobby Gomez who lives in that house. But despite his mum, Vivian, describing him as a boy that “likes to play around and joke around and likes to dance“, she refuses to accept that her son might just have been a real weird kid in front of her home security camera at 10pm on a Saturday night.

Bobby himself is also refusing to give up the game. Instead of admitting to doing a weird walk with underpants on his head, he is suggesting that it was much more likely to have been aliens.

According to Bobby, he has no idea what the creature is, telling Fox21, “It’s possible aliens could be alive. No one knows.

Vivian, for her part, told the station that she is about 50/50 on it either being a prank or it being aliens.

I have to admit, my confidence that it’s Bobby was somewhat shaken by Bobby’s ability to hold up under questioning, but there seems to be no other possible explanation.

Lady, it’s Bobby.