Just Gonna Say It: Ripping On Pre-Mixed Drinks Is Pretentious 

There are some things that scream ‘joyless’ if a person mentions them to me. For example, thinking you’re above ever visiting Disneyland/calling Disneyland a ‘capitalist wasteland’. Not liking pop punk. Hating pancakes. The list goes on. 

However, there is one that really grinds my gears above all else: ripping on mixed drinks. To me, that’s a whole new level of Debbie Downer. 

Now, I’m 25, so I know what it’s like when the parties you attend go through a ‘transition’. One day, you’re sipping on a delicious, sweet and sugary vodka mixed drink with your mates at the back of a sharehouse, and then all of a sudden, you’re raving about a pet nat you tried at a wine bar last weekend. Adulthood can be sooooo boring and un-spontaneous sometimes.

Where does the time go? I’ll never know, BUT, yummy pre-mixed drinks are forever.

Here’s why they absolutely rock: 

  • They taste delightful. They dance on the tongue with reckless abandon, washing away the gritty aftertaste of whatever homebrand hummus has been served up on a charcuterie board.
  • They’re crowd-pleasers as they come in many flavours. Your fussy friend, who likely only started eating sushi in the last year, will be filled with joy as their tongue meets the sweet fruitiness of a pre-mixed bev.
  • They’re convenient. Seriously — who is bothered with the clean-up from at-home cocktail-making sessions? Not I!!!!
  • It’s bang for your buck — you get flavour, alcohol and convenience all in one.

Like???? People??? Need I say more??

Summer is coming up, and you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be rocking up to every beach day/picnic/party with a few cans of Smirnoff Sodas. Imagine sipping back on a Lemon & Lime soda as the sun sets after a day spent swimming and frolicking in the sand. It simply doesn’t get better.

You can rave about how good an orange wine is all you like, but I will continue to live on indulging in life’s simple pleasures forever.

If you’re keen to see what’s on in your city, check out our site here. We’ve pulled together a bunch of unique and exciting events and locations popping up all across Australia so that you can find something in Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane and Adelaide.

Image Credit / SNL