YouTuber / Moron Jake Paul Now Wants To Fight Chris Brown For Some Reason

Lamentably, I must inform you all that the Pauls are at it again. Over the weekend the YouTubing brotherly duo of Logan and Jake Paul travelled to England where they wantonly fleeced teens of piles of money by subjecting them to a farcical parade of limb flailing which they advertised as “boxing matches” against fellow YouTube entities.

[jwplayer qtXAEtfy]

Jake, the younger, decidedly less “filmed a suicide victim in Japan and tried to monetise the subsequent YouTube post” of the two, won his match against a man called Deji, himself the younger brother of KSI, whomst Logan summoned the power of the Logang to lob spaghetti-armed cheek-grazes at in a five-round draw most pugilistic pundits would describe as “huffingly masturbatory.”

Immediately following the bout – draped in a replica WBC belt for reasons science will never be able to clarify – Jake then not only plugged his new clothing line in front of the packed crowd of like, share, and subscribers, but he went one step further: He called out convicted domestic abuser Chris Brown.

Chris Brown, Chris Brown, I know you were supposed to fight Soulja Boy, but I think it’s time to get in the ring with someone your size. So Chris Brown I wanna see you.

Brave. Heroic. Truly a king of our time.

The Soulja Boy fight Paul refers to there references the much vaunted but tragically scuttled celebrity trainwreck that would’ve seen actual Soulja Boy put convicted domestic abuser Brown into the dust several times over. The fight even attracted the support of fellow convicted domestic abuser Floyd Mayweather, who publicly backed convicted domestic abuser Brown in the match, because like attracts like and scum attracts scum.

Whether anything becomes of this Paul/Brown showdown remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure, we can safely keep that “Days Since The Pauls Last Tried To Pull Some Shit” counter at 0 for a while yet.