HEY MELBOURNE: Getting To The Airport This Weekend Is Gonna Be A Fkn Pain

The dirty secret about why everyone blabs on about how good Melbourne is, is that the city is sadistically designed to prevent anyone from ever leaving it. Delirious, bleary-eyed Melburnians forever harp on about how great everything is down here because we are all literally trapped here oh god somebody send help.
Definitive proof of that can be found by merely hopping into a car and attempting to use the despicable Tullamarine Freeway which, at any given, random point of any old day, will clamp down on traffic and make passage to the airport next-to-impossible. Truly, the Chinese Finger Trap of motorways.
And if you’re one of the fortunate few who have dedicated plans to flee this wretched burg over the weekend, the city has just thrown yet another spanner in your works.
A huge sodding chunk of the Tulla is now completely closed as of 10pm last night, and it’ll remain shut until 10:00am Sunday morning, as works on the on-going Tulla Widening Project hit a critical stage.
The road is 100% closed to all traffic in both directions from the Calder Freeway turnoff, right up to the Western Ring Road. Or, in a more visual sense:
VicRoads has advised that delays on the freeway will likely add around 40 extra minutes of travel time to the airport, meaning from the city the trip will now probably take an even 24 hours if you’re lucky.
If you’re attempting the passage to the airport this weekend, VicRoads is advising that you take a detour via Pascoe Vale Rd at Bell St. Alternatively, motorists can take the Calder Freeway up to Keilor Park Dr, then onto Sharps Rd and into the airport precinct.
Part of the works will see the English Street bridge between Airport West and Essendon Fields completely demolished.
Long story short: NO ONE IS EVER LEAVING MELBOURNE AGAIN.
Source: ABC News.
Photo: Google.

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