Here’s All The Shit That Happened On Day 5 Of The Federal Election Campaign

We’re five days into the federal election campaign and boy are my arms tired!!! But seriously, folks.

Both Scott Morrison and Bill Shorten have been campaigning for less than a week, driving heavily into the issues of tax reform and health, while avoiding that pesky topic of climate – as much as The Greens might want it to be a key issue.

On Tuesday, ScoMo set out to Victoria to help his friends get elected. It’s help they may very well need, with Labor using Queenslander and Immigration Minister Peter Dutton‘s extensive history of being Peter Dutton to try and convince voters in a different state not to vote for the Coalition.

A report over at the ABC posits that Peter Dutton is a “vote-winning machine” – the only problem being he does it for the wrong party.

“Labor is now doing everything it can to remind voters about the events of last August and the man who orchestrated the leadership spill,” says the ABC.

That battle for Victoria will be one of the tougher Coalition areas to cover.

Most of the country’s political class also sent out their condolences for the Notre Dame fires which raged through the early hours of the morning.

Both Shorten and Morrison put out initial statements, before former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull weighed in without anyone asking, which is so very rare for him.

Turnbull suggested on Twitter that Australia set up some sort of charity fun to raise money to repair the cathedral. “A fund of this kind would have DGR status and would enable individual Australians & foundations if they wished to make a contribution,” he wrote.

“If the Australian Government wished to make a direct contribution it could do so as well. Many precedents.”

Shorten quickly realised he had an opportunity to imply that Morrison still takes orders from Turnbull, and said he liked Turnbull’s idea and that he would “encourage Mr Morrison to take up… Mr Turnbull’s idea.” Isn’t politics fun.

Overnight, everyone’s favourite former PM Tony Abbott addressed a yacht club in his electorate to tell them that he definitely didn’t absolutely 100% want to be the Liberal leader, but if the party asked him to be, he’d do it. I imagine the rest of the party appreciates Tony’s helpful contribution to the campaign.

The battle for Warringah – Abbott’s longheld safe seat – has been nothing short of ridiculous.

The Daily Telegraph published a story today digging up the old tweets of the ex-husband of Abbott’s challenger, independent Zali Steggall, which call her an “idiot” for a tweet about the Christchurch terror attack.

Very normal and sane thing for a media company do! Even more normal for an ex to do! Warringah: no wrecking, no sniping!

Bill Shorten was grilled on his party’s emissions reduction target, sidestepping a journalist’s question before carrying on about the economy and how much better it would be under Labor. Props to the journo for following up, though, and continuing to hassle the Opposition Leader about why he wouldn’t answer the question.

It makes for some awkward viewing.

Shorten, who was traveling around Adelaide today, also committed a $200 million package towards  bulk-billing pathology, which is all part of the multi-billion dollar cancer plan Labor has been championing throughout the campaign.

Oh and also he bought a big block of cheese which I’m choosing to imagine him eating in one, 15-minute sitting.

Scott Morrison and Josh Frydenberg really wanted today to be about taxes, propping out lines that workers who make less than $40,000 a year will be better off under the government’s plan.

However, ScoMo couldn’t stop fending off questions about why he was Prime Minister and why Malcolm Turnbull was ditched in the first place. Previously, Morrison has said these questions were part of the “Canberra bubble” and not what anyone else cared about.

Well, seems like a few senior citizen in Victoria do.

On Tuesday afternoon, Morrison guaranteed there would be no increase in taxes on superannuation under a Coalition government, accusing the Labor Party of “moving the goal posts”.

“I can give Australians that guarantee,” he said. “I have the background to absolutely give that commitment.”

Finally, the first leaders’ debate of the election campaign has officially been locked in, so you can finally get some sleep. It will be held in Perth on Monday, April 29.