Talented actor and wonderful speech giver Harry Styles will be bringing Love On Tour and all of its hullaballoo to Auckland on March 7. This also happens to be census night in New Zealand, which begs the question: does Haz need to take part, as well?
The answer? Yes. Of course. By hook or by crook, Stats NZ will officially count how many people and dwellings there are in New Zealand on March 7. Fans of watermelon sugar are not excused.
Granted, positing whether a certain Harry Styles will participate in a country’s census isn’t a typical thought. I’d go as far as saying it’s relatively rogue. But it’s one which New Zealand magazine Coup De Main posed to the folks who run the census.
We thank them for their service.
“Important question for @2023census,” the publication asked on Twitter.
“Will @harrystyles also have to do the census on March 7 with the rest of New Zealand?”
The tweet was accompanied by a photo of Styles circa 2014 (I had to consult an Allure article which documented all of his hairstyles throughout the years for this information) seated at a table signing autographs. This information will soon become v. crucial.
The New Zealand census Twitter account responded: “Kia ora @coupdemain CC: the country. Thank you for this important query.”
We’re already off to a cracking start. I’m quaking in my boots. Say what you will about New Zealand government organisations but they’re bloody funny!
“Everyone who is in Aotearoa New Zealand on census night (Tuesday, March 7) needs to be counted in the census,” it continued.
“This includes tourists, visitors and former members of One Direction.”
The tweet was signed off with an artist’s impression of Styles completing the census, which was the same picture Coup De Main originally tweeted. This time, however, it had a pink square drawn on the table with “CENSUS” scrawled inside of it.
Kia ora @coupdemain CC: the country. Thank you for this important query.
Everyone who is in Aotearoa New Zealand on census night (Tuesday 7 March), needs to be counted in the census. This includes tourists, visitors, and former members of One Direction.
Artist’s impression: pic.twitter.com/e5yvh2B551
— 2023 Census | Aotearoa New Zealand NZ | 7 March 23 (@2023Census) February 23, 2023
I cackled. I screamed. The entire thing was giving me fucking around on Microsoft Paint trying to create a masterpiece.
But nothing I crafted at the humble age of seven could compete with the beauty that is Harry Styles and the pink census square. It will become an epoch in 21st-century Trans-Tasman history.
Before Harry Styles scootles his bootle over to Auckland to do their census perform, he must first finish gallivanting around Australia.
If you are attending his Sydney show on March 4, might I suggest trekking to Olympic Park via unicycle or carrier pigeon? Because close to 120,000 people will be heading to the suburb that night to watch either Styles, the Backstreet Boys or Taiwanese star Jay Chou — all of whom are playing at different venues in Sydney Olympic Park.
God speed. At least you can be grateful that you’re not completing the census on the same night you’re performing a massive concert.
