Right now, it seems like the world is divided into two camps: those who are taking this seriously, and those who are not taking this seriously enough. “Flatten the curve!” screams one, while simultaneously washing their hands for the eighth time that morning (me). “If I get coronavirus, I get coronavirus,” says another, while gyrating with a hundred other sweaty bodies in some cesspit bar in Florida (everyone in Florida).

I get it: social distancing is hard enough when you don’t already have long-term plans. Weddings are being postponed, holidays are being cancelled, yet over in Florida, a bunch of college kids who have spent months planning for Spring Break aren’t going to let a little pandemic get in way of their right to party.

“It’s really messing with my Spring Break,” one woman told the CBS News cameras. “What is there to do here other than go to the bars and the beach? And they’re closing all of it. I think they’re blowing it way out of proportion, I think they’re doing way too much.”

“If I get corona, I get corona,” said one young bro. “And the end of the day I’m not going to let it stop me from partying.”

There are 195 reported cases of COVID-19 in Florida, and all projections show this number is only going to go up. However, Gov. Ron DeSantis refuses to issue an order to close the state’s beaches, claiming social distancing works pretty well in the great outdoors.

Uhhhh….

Despite the appeal of sticking your head in (or on) the sand re: this literal global pandemic we’re living through, now is not the time to party and just hope that it’ll be alright / you won’t get that sick / you’re gonna get it anyway so who cares, right? Now is the time to hunker down, help out those around you, and use social distancing to give us the most vulnerable a fighting bloody chance.

Image: CBS News