Experts have warned that Australia is legitimately going to become a living hell this summer. I don’t mean to alarm you but you should basically prepare for a living nightmare.
Basically, we’re being told to expect hotter than average temperatures and massive fish deaths on top of our usual bushfires and fucked summer storms. according to the Daily Mail.
The NSW Agriculture Minister Adam Marshall calls it a “fish Armageddon.” Nothing good ever has the word “Armageddon” in it.
We just experienced the warmest July ever recorded, and you’re kidding yourself if you think it’s about to cool down anytime soon.
Fire danger season started on August 1, which is pretty much the middle of winter. So basically, everything is fucked.
Fires will likely be a huge issue this summer, and apparently our fire departments aren’t adequately equipped to handle it.
According to the ABC, the 2019 Bushfire Outlook indicates above-normal fire risks for most of the east coast, and parts of Western and South Australia. So it looks like it’s time to get your fire action plan in order. Even if you’ve never bothered to organise one before, do it now. This summer is about to get potentially dangerous. Prepare yourself now.
“We’re in the midst of the worst drought on record, with record low rainfall, record low inflows into our river systems and high temperatures predicted over the coming months,” Mr Marshall said.
The agriculture department has announced a $10M plan to pump oxygen into NSW rivers and move fish into protected hatcheries to hopefully minimise the devastation. But let’s be real, it’s not a great time to be a fish.
But it’s not just the fish that are about to cop the fiery wrath of the Australian summer. According to Dr Liz Hanna from the World Federation of Public Health Associations, Aussies are misinformed when it comes to the heat.
We like to think we’re tough guys. It’s always 35+ degrees and we deal with snakes and crocodiles and other fucked animals, surely we can handle the heat. But, heat-related deaths are responsible for more fatalities in Australia than the annual road toll. So maybe we can’t handle it as well as we think. Yikes.
“We’ve got all these campaigns preparing us and helping us prevent becoming a road statistic but, by comparison, we hear very little about how to protect ourselves against heat.”
Apparently our attitude of “fuck it’s hot, better get used to it,” is doing us more harm than good.
“There’s a prevailing attitude that it’s hot, it’s summer, just get used to it,” she said. “The thing is, it kills. What we don’t need is people to die, or people to think they’re brave and they’re tough, that they can put up with it, or that they’re being wussy if they sit up and say, ‘I’m actually feeling the heat’.”
So we’re in for a summer of extreme heat, high bushfire risk and a literal fish Armageddon. And if you’re not careful, your life could be at risk too.
We’re already in fire danger season and it’s still winter. Spend one afternoon organising your shit so you don’t end up in a dangerous situation this summer.Image: Getty Images / Stock Image