It’s Official: Farting Into Someone’s Mouth Is Not Recommended During The COVID-19 Crisis

Farting with a bare arse should be discouraged during the coronavirus (COVID-19) crisis, according to one of Australia’s most pre-eminent voices on the pandemic.

Speaking on last Friday’s episode of ABC’s Coronacast, medical expert and presenter Dr Norman Swan responded to an audience question about the virus-transmitting power of flatulence.

We’re ashamed we didn’t pick up on this sooner, given PEDESTRIAN.TV‘s penchant for reporting on arses, but we’re glad to relay Dr Swan’s opinion to you in these trying times.

“Really intelligent, pointed questions on Coronacast,” Dr Swan said, before acknowledging the issue at hand.

“We wear a ‘mask’ which covers our farts at all times,” he said, suggesting that physical barrier of underwear should, theoretically, contain any viral particles from dislodging in your guts and floating up someone’s nose.

However, letting it rip is hardly condoned.

“A policy of the entire Australian population should be that you don’t fart near other people, and that you don’t fart with your bottom bare,” Dr Swan said.

So, there’s that. It wasn’t an entirely baseless question, though. Some case studies suggest COVID-19 has been detected in the faeces of carriers of the virus, intimating the virus could possibly be spread by faecal particles.

Researchers from the The University of Queensland and the CSIRO have also started testing raw sewerage for traces of the virus, with the goal of eventually using the system to determine its prevalence across large areas.

The advice to avoid faecal contact has been adopted by some health authorities worldwide, too.

Famously, the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene last month issued a memo advising residents against rimming to curtail the potential spread of the virus.

In short, it’s probably best to avoid inhaling or ingesting turd flakes during the pandemic, but you shouldn’t be doing it anyway.