The Daily Telegraph Has Gone Into A Horny Meltdown Over *That* Bizarre Navy Twerking Routine

The Daily Telegraph

The Daily Telegraph needs to go into horny jail immediately after publishing a two-page spread filled with sexual innuendos, like “Shake Yer Boaty!” and “Anchors Wa-Hey” about those twerking Naval dancers.

The troupe of seven dancers (known as 101 Doll Squadron) were invited to perform by the Royal Australian Navy for the commissioning of the HMAS Supply. The gals danced to hits like Sean Paul‘s “Boasty” in front of defence staff.

After footage emerged of the bizarre performance, many called the twerking affair offensive (mostly politicians ofc). An anonymous frontbencher even described the event as a “shitshow.”

“Standards in the ADF, and definitely when commissioning a ship, should be a little bit higher than that,” Liberal backbencher Philip Thompson told the ABC.

“We’ve got the CDF, we’ve got members of Parliament there, and the Governor-General’s there, I don’t think it’s appropriate to be twerking”.

But I have to say the most baffling thing to come out of this is a 2-page Daily Tele spread that was published about the incident this morning. The article somehow manages to both criticise the dance, yet froth it at the same time. Whoever wrote it had an absolute field day with the buns…I mean puns like “21-Bun Salute” and “It’s Naval Phwoar-Fare!”

The angle of the piece is centred around how politicians have called the dance “inappropriate.” But then wouldn’t a full page spread with enlarged photos of women’s behinds be slightly MORE inappropriate???

It’s the double use of word gyrated that really has me floored though. Have people never been to a strip club before? What they performed was not even close to gyrating.

“Dressed in booty shorts and crimson red fishnet crop drops, the dancers twerked and gyrated,” the Daily Telegraph article read.

“General Angus Campbell was among the members of the audience who appeared stunned as the troupe shimmied and gyrated just metres away.”

The dance looked like something out of the Wii game Just Dance, not risqué at all IMO. It was fun, energetic and iconic. Ok, yes maybe slightly inappropriate for the Royal Australian Navy. But that aside, the dance itself was HOT.