Sydney’s Lockdown Sucks, But At Least This Bondi Coastal Walk Fuck Fest Doesn’t Breach It

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Things that will never change: people being horny, Bondi people being extra, and Sydney’s current lockdown (at least, that’s how it feels). The nexus of all three of these truths has come together in one, glorious story: two people were caught having a cheeky root on the coastal walk rocks. May the horny, escapist energy never leave us.

The couple were spotted having an early morning fuck-a-doodle-doo by a local Bondi photographer, who promptly took a few pics and sent them into that chaos of places, the Bondi Local Loop Facebook group.

“I took the pic from the water while doing an ocean swim this morning from Bondi to Tamarama,” the photographer, Scott Robinson, told News.com.au.

“It was probably around 8.15am so they were keen. See lots of wildlife in the water around there but never up on the cliffs,” he added.

He also told the publication that it was “a little levity” given the times and new restrictions, which came into effect on Monday.

Greater Sydney residents (including the Central Coast, Wollongong and Shellharbour) must not travel beyond their local government area for shopping, exercise and outdoor recreation, or if they do need to travel to another local area, must stay within 5km of home. (Exemptions for your intimate partner or single bubble buddy apply, thank god.) However, people within the local government areas of concern are subject to even stricter restrictions.

Sadly, the post was deleted from the Bondi Local Loop, but not before screenshots made their way to media. (Hey, when there’s 110,000 members of a Facebook group, you have to assume it’s going to become a little public at least.)

We may never know why the couple chose a rocky ledge for their morning rendezvous. Perhaps they’re having an affair, and can no longer bone at home. Perhaps they’re simply weird ‘health’ psychos, and wanted to sun their buttholes while riding the bone town train. Or maybe it’s just a legally mandated walking first date that went really, really well.

Who’s to say. The one thing I can say is: people be horny.

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