With the multitude of stories about sexual harassment and assault that have been pouring out of Hollywood over the last few months, few have been so hotly debated as the one involving Aziz Ansari.
It’s not as easy to accept as Harvey Weinstein, nor as easy to be repulsed by as Louis C.K.. It’s about something that hits much, much closer to home, because it’s a situation many – possibly the majority – would have found ourselves in at some point.
Over the weekend, Babe.com published an interview with a 23-year-old photographer identified only as Grace, who says she went on a date with the Master of None star and had her boundaries repeatedly crossed.
Ansari responded to the story to say that he believed everything to be consensual, and that when he learned she had been upset by the encounter (via text message the following day), he was “surprised and concerned”.
The story – and our responses to it – has exposed gaps in how we think about issues around consent. With that in mind, here are some tweets worth reading about the issue.
1. Charlotte Shane, author and essayist.
https://twitter.com/CharoShane/status/952560618795565056
https://twitter.com/CharoShane/status/952561753006706689
2. Beth McColl, writer and author.
it’s a pretty difficult time to be grappling with things that have been done to you & things that you think you “let happen” or “asked for” so let me just say this: you didnt make this happen. you didn’t fail yourself by not stopping what was happening. they did this. you did not
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) January 15, 2018
3. Meredith Jeffers, essayist.
https://twitter.com/MeredithJeffers/status/952565543390863361
4. Dana Schwartz, journalist and author.
https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/952596901647577088
5. @JenJen, Twitter user.
https://twitter.com/Jenjen19725/status/952477704141459456
6. Melinda Taub, writer and comedian.
Hot Sex Tip: If she is sending you Mixed Signals, and some of the signals are “I am scared and sad about this sex,” stop.
— Melinda Taub (@MelindaTaub) January 14, 2018
7. Rayana Donn, Twitter user.
The thing about the Aziz Ansari allegations is that A LOT of men, even at 34, don’t understand that unless it’s an enthusiastic and obvious “YES” it’s not consensual. Coercion is not consent. Just because she didn’t kick and scream and claw your face off you think it’s fine.
— Rayana 🦝 (@FL3SHDADDY) January 14, 2018
8. Lara Witt, writer and editor.
https://twitter.com/Femmefeministe/status/952591393490395136
https://twitter.com/Femmefeministe/status/952602144946794501
9. Judy Berman, writer.
https://twitter.com/judyberman/status/952693332546813954
10. David Klion, writer and editor.
https://twitter.com/DavidKlion/status/952700353098723328
https://twitter.com/DavidKlion/status/952701785113858048
11. Britni Danielle, writer.
I do think we need to move beyond the “he’s canceled” reaction when it comes to these sexual misconduct allegations. Not b/c ppl like Aziz Ansari are talented or whatever, but b/c that account grows out of our lack of conversations and TEACHING abt consent
— Britni Danielle (@BritniDWrites) January 14, 2018
If we cancel every man who’s behaved like like Aziz Ansari allegedly behaved in that article, I’m willing to be 75% would be a wrap.
— Britni Danielle (@BritniDWrites) January 14, 2018
I have yet to come across a man who explicitly asks, “Hey, is it ok if I do X to/with you?” And like @audaciouskay pointed out, that’s how we treat most conversations about seeking consent. But that’s just not real life.
— Britni Danielle (@BritniDWrites) January 14, 2018
12. Jennifer Writer, author and writer.
For all the guys who wonder why women sometimes rely on non-verbal cues rather than loudly shouting “I don’t want to have sex with you!” Here you go: pic.twitter.com/8eEw5qNnHB
— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) January 14, 2018
