Land of audibly crackling humans walking outdoors in puddles of despair and pools of sweat, Australia, has officially declared 2013 it’s hottest year on record, according to The Sydney Morning Herald, with the past year seeing milestones of the hottest day, month, and yes – calendar year – being officially ticked off the list. Great job, straya, doing your climactic stereotype proud.
In Australia’s hottest year, perhaps the most notable weather spike came in January, where predicted maximum temperatures – 50 to fucking 54 degrees – rose literally off the charts, calling for added colours to temperature maps, a totally unassuming but completely satanic pink and purple.
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, maximum temperatures were on average 3.4 degrees higher than the expected norm; the hottest rise above maximum temperatures since 2000. On the other side of the seasons, August gave Australia its warmest winter month on record, with its highest minimum of 9.7 degrees record. The bureau of meteorology also notes 2013’s unusually hot Spring in Australia, with our hottest spring on record checking in with a maximum average of 20.1 degrees.
Barely three weeks into summer and with most capital cities across Australia clocking in at above 30 degrees today, this is how you feel. It’s going to be a killer Summer ahead, friends. But don’t just sit among the pleasant flapping vibes of your pedestal fan and drink an icy beverage. Do as Australians do, and complain vehemently about it on twitter. It’d be un-Australian not to.
Via SMH.
Title image by Torsten Blackwood via Getty.
