Turns Out Wiz Khalifa Has Finely Held Views On How Men Should Eat Bananas

Fridays. The slowest day in any news room. The energy is relaxed, the pace is eased off, and the yarns are fluffy and mostly inconsequential. And as such, we present unto you this most profoundly Friday of yarns: Wiz Khalifa and his intensely curious thoughts on how men should eat bananas.

Here we bloody go.

The story goes that, for whatever reason, the subject of fruit consumption was broached during Khalifa’s recent appearance on US radio show The Breakfast Club, with a wide-ranging interview beginning on the topic of banana eating.

As far as Khalifa is concerned, simply shoving the fruit directly into the mouth is a shameful act that must be avoided at all costs.

You gotta break it in half,” Wiz says. “If you bite into a banana, you sus,” he reckons.

A particular point of contention was the consumption of bananas in public, which Wiz is simply against. Totally aghast at the concept.

If you’re in public, just break it into pieces,” Wiz says. He simply cannot fathom bananas being consumed in any other fashion. To him, it is criminal.

Unbelievable stuff. Really makes you think.

Khalifa, while we’re on the subject of fruit, also harbours a particularly vivid dislike for peaches based largely on a texture-based aversion.

His favourite fruit? Slices of apple. Not apples as a whole, or in any other form. But slices of those sumbitches? Really gets him going. Loves the stuff. Filthy for it.

As for our considered take on the matter, eat the damned banana in any way you see fit, unless it’s with the skin on, in which case you should be buried in a pit in the desert. Thank you.