There’s simply no greater pleasure in life than when a 00s kid’s TV show theme song transmits booty-popping signals from the screen directly to your soul, causing you to uncontrollably throw it back on the couch. You know it’s true – you simply can’t deny your bussy the right to gyrate along to nostalgic earporn.
Such is the case with the following intro songs from my childhood. Whether it be the song’s artistry, or the show, itself, holding a special place in my heart, the below intro songs spark an involuntary reaction in my behind within seconds, resulting in uncontrollable, rhythmic movements.
So, without further ado, here are my favourite 00s kid’s TV show theme songs ranked by how much they make me want to shake my bottom, from slight physical jerks to violent ass-cheeks-to-couch-cushion smashing.
8. Fairly OddParents
A nice theatrical tune to kick things off, which certainly makes me want to chuck on a top hat and tap dance with Cosmo and Wand. But bussy-pop, I do not.
7. Angela Anaconda
With frequent pauses and changes in tempo, the intro song to Angela Anaconda makes it very difficult to find a consistent, bottom-shaking rhythm. The piano segment does allow for some beautiful contemporary dance moments, though, so it can stay.
At this point, I’d like to state that we are already getting to the pointy end – every song, from here on out, is worthy of a glorious bussy-popping session. Alas, the ranking must be done and sacrifices must be made. Let’s continue.
6. Kim Possible
Now we’re talking. Christina Milian‘s ‘ooOOOOh yeEEah’ within the first two seconds immediately sparks a sensation in the nether regions. Milian’s jolted pauses when crooning “Kim Po-ssi-ble” makes the viewer (me) want to robotically thrust their (my) behinds like it nobody’s business. *Chef’s kiss*
5. That’s So Raven
A healthy dose of sass and tude? Tick. Levels? Tick. Rapping? Tick. That’s So Raven is That Bitch™ when it comes to intro songs.
4. Drake & Josh
An odd choice for some, but there’s nothing like throwing it back to a little rock, in my humblest of opinions. After all, buttocks knows no genre. With this in mind, the chorus of Drake Bell‘s “I Found A Way” injects my heart, soul and butt cheeks with an insatiable endorphin rush.
The epitome of taste – if the Rugrats theme song doesn’t make you want to move your booty in a figure 8 motion, you’re a hater.
Two words. Miranda Cosgrove. That is all.
(Okay, that’s not all. Cosgrove’s “Leave It All to Me” is actually such a tune and I could listen to it on loop for hours. Inspirational lyrics like “Live life, breathe air / I know somehow we’re gonna get there” only adds to the track’s timeless influence. A true cultural reset. *Inhales air* Iconic.)
“Believe in Yourself”, performed by Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers, is the ultimate kid’s TV show theme song, as it combines two precious ingredients: a unifying message and the ability to pop your bussy to your heart’s content. If an anthem can penetrate the heart and the bum, you’ve got something incredible on your hands.
Arthur‘s theme song is truly the best of both worlds, the crème de la crème of kid’s show anthems, and deserves an ARIA for pioneering the landscape of bussy-popping intro songs.
I will be taking no further questions at this time and would now like some privacy as I drop it low on the sofa. Godspeed.