How To Hit Up A Festival Solo ‘Cos Your Mates Are Flakey Buttheads

Festival solo

Festival season is…well, I wouldn’t say it’s upon us because there are festivals all year round, but it’s definitely still happening.

The next target on everyone’s music-related bucket list: Beyond The Valley and Falls Festival.

With BTV pulling in headliners like Rüfüs Du Sol, Tyler, The Creator, Bag Raiders and I Know Leopard, and Falls nabbing Halsey, Vampire Weekend and Disclosure, it’s easy to see why the festivals are hella popular, but I get the sense that there are a few of you out there who are tempted to pull out because your mates, well, pulled out.

I’ll say this once, and once only: Do. Not. Bail.

What, you’re going to bail on the festival of a lifetime because your mates are flakier than the inside of a Twirl? Hardly. It’s a festival, you’ll meet thousands of like-minded people there.

Including, perhaps, a good ol’ festival fling? Think about it.

Just follow these easy instructions and you’ll be flying solo and dancing to Shooting Stars in no time.

Be your own hype person

Who says you can’t pre-game solo? Who says you can’t pre-game with people who aren’t going to the festival? Who says Simon Says? Simon Says pre-game. Pre-game.

Got ‘eeem – I didn’t say Simon Says you gullible idiots.

Moving right along: it’s all about being in the right headspace. If you’re going into this festival alone, just chill. It might be nervewracking but just chuck on some bangers, get in the zone and tell yourself it’s gonna be the best time of your 18 to 99-year-old life.

Start laying the groundwork

Let’s straight-shoot for a sec, shall we? Meeting people through your phone is far less anxiety-inducing than meeting people in person.

So, jump on your Tinder app and match with Festival Mode. Essentially, it’s a card that’ll pop up in place of a person and in this case, it’ll say Beyond The Valley or Falls Festival.

Whack that badge on your profile and see who else is going to the festival.

Chuck ’em one of your A+ ice-breakers, get the ball rolling and agree to meet up when you get to Victoria’s Lardner parklands (the address of BTV, keep up), or whichever Falls Festival you’re attending.

Tick your fave bands off your bucket list

Okay, so you’re at the festival, you’ve found your Tinder mates and you realise you all froth a good bit of Rüfüs. Perfect.

If I were you, I’d chuck your favourite artists in your Tinder bio so potential matches know straight away how bloody sound your taste in music is.

Pro tip: update your Tinder Anthem to Untouched by The Veronicas and you’ll be drowning in matches.

Don’t be afraid to squeeze your way into a group

I genuinely don’t think I’d have any friends if I didn’t force my way into their circle with a metaphorical (and literal) crowbar.

Look, what’s the worst that could happen if you approach a group and start chatting to them? They run away from you, sure, but you’re never going to see them again so who bloody cares?

Although, if you don’t really enjoy being bailed on by strangers, just use those Tinder contacts. You’ll meet up with one new mate, that mate will have more mates, those mates will have even more mates, and before you know it you’ll be forming a conga line with 300 of your new best friends.

People still conga at festivals, right? Right?

TL;DR: Add the Beyond The Valley and Falls Festival badges to your Tinder profile to meet a buncha people, and, if you’re a BTV-goer, you can even access the Tinder Beach Club (plus there’s a chance to see an exclusive DJ set).

Into it.