“Hey, I just wrote you, and this is crazy, but here’s my blog post, so vote me, maybe?”
The above might describe what our Ultrabook Blogster Award finalists were thinking when we asked them to write a 200 word review of a song best described as inescapable: Carly Rae Jepsen’s lab-created ode to non-committal flirtation methods, “Call Me Maybe”. Think of it as the catchy yardstick by which to measure the different nominees you might not know about…yet.
Read their submissions below then cast your vote here.
SUBMITTED BY STONEY ROADS
“And all the other boys, try to chase me, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?” – pop writing at its best, a subsequently slutty statement wrapped up into lyrical gold, I mean who wouldn’t (maybe) call Carly Rae Jepson?
She’s bubbly, knows a full 4 verses, a chorus and her gay-dar is way off. There’s a good chance you could take her to some fine dining at your local chicken shop and still get the deed done (chips and gravy special mate). The song itself is fairly average though, I mean it’s catchy, really catchy but that’s part of the reason we hate it right? It’s almost like pop-fizz whiz, it tastes so good but the more white powder you shovel down your gullet the iller you become :/
Since the inception of Facebook, the lines between bubblegum pop and interweb viral songs like the ‘trololol guy’ are thinning. It’s just lucky that sex sells… Excuse me while I go watch Hamsterdance with Richard Gere.
SUBMITTED BY ALL I DO IS LISTEN
Let’s face it. We only cover Australian artists, sometimes lashing out to pepper our tastes with some beats from our friends over the ditch. So when we were chucked ‘Call Me Maybe’ by an artist by the name of Carly Rae Jepsen, things were looking a little bleak. Where in this tune does the music start and the love letter stop? I’m not going to beat around the bush. I don’t really enjoy this kind of music, mainly because if my sister of six years junior is singing her heart out to a song, it’s slim pickings that it’s ‘cool’ and ‘underground’ with only 17 plays on youtube. Guess what? My sister adores this song. Therefore it’s logical I don’t. Hey, I think it’s catchy, sure, but if it’s not on vinyl or cassette, take a walk mate. The only chance you are going to see me rocking out to this song is if Motion.Picture.Actress or Andras Fox do a remix and it’s getting pumped at the workers on a Sunday night. But really, what’s with the band in the clip? What is the guitarist playing?
SUBMITTED BY EAST WEST BLOG
Carly Rae Jepson’s – Call Me Maybe. Genre: Terrifying. Well, considering this is neither Australian, prominently electronic or innovative, I find it inherently difficult if not impossible to review Carly Rae Jepson’s “Call Me Maybe” as I would anything on East to West. The two are just so mutually exclusive, it’s like trying to stick a fork in my eye. Oh no, wait, that I can do. This, however, could also be due to the fact that I can’t get past the first five seconds of vacuous, Instagram-filtered video. I’m also now partially blinded from both fork in eye and tattooed man’s ten-pack, which apparently is impeding my aural ability, but that could just be from all the dried blood in my ears.
SUBMITTED BY LIFE AQUATIC
Rather than review this pop stuff at 100%, I decided to get high and review it at 800% slowed down.
Upon listening to the slowed version of this piece it’s instantly apparent that Carly Rae Jepson is not as superficial and sex deprived as she appears to be in the original. The string murmurs that open the slow version already indicate a certain level of sadness. The washed out vocals and deep sea rumbles that follow add to the brooding feeling, that indicate an inevitable, breath taking climax that eventually arrives at the 3 minutes and 50 seconds mark. Her vocals remain by themselves before powerful cinematic strings and heavy crashes make their entrance. The whole thing sounds like it’s taking place in the ocean where gigantic waves are crashing on the head of poor Carly Rae while she resonates her heartbreaking cries.
In conclusion I think you’ll all agree that underneath the pop façade lies a troubled angsty teen who’s using a catchy pop jingle to hide her true pain. I should add that all this is only perceivable in the 800% slowed version. Just as she had planned.
SUBMITTED BY ADAM NOT EVE
“Call Me Maybe”, the song that has flooded my newsfeed on Facebook and attacked me in every store I walk in, so cheesy but yeah still soo soo cheesy. This catchy tune has gotten all the teens fist pumping, body grinding and even got Miss Bieber and Mr Gomez to record a fun video. If you bought Paris Hiltons single a few years ago, and thought she was uber cool! Well then you’d be interested in this chick. As I’m writing this, I have forgotten her name, I don’t
even know what the song is about and I don’t know why the song is so popular. The first time I heard the lyrics or the three main words of the song was when I was walking down King Street in Melbourne and some over excited-drunk-young teenager yelled out “CALL ME MAYBE”…Ever since then, these three words have become similar to that
of Harry Potter’s “Lord Voldermort”. “CALL ME MAYBE”by whoever she is, will always be a very bad song. Catchy lyrics; and a song that could be remixed by both Skrillex and David Guetta or even covered by LMFAO and still sound as bad as its original did.
SUBMITTED BY FRUIT BEATS
🙁
SUBMITTED BY ONE A DAY
It’s all about the strings, really. Some might tell you that it has something to do with the unique way Carly Rae rips off Taylor Swift’s cutesy romantic ‘Love Story’ dynamic. Or that it’s in how she was able to rope together so many of the new Brat Pack – Selena, Justin, Ashley (Tisdale, duh) – for a spontaneous unofficial visual treatment. Or the way she toys with temporal realities, crooning, impossibly ‘before you came into my life I missed you so bad’. Those that put any stock in reality television celebrity might say it’s by virtue of her third placing in the fifth season of Canadian Idol. But ultimately, it’s those MIDI strings that have cemented Call Me Maybe’s position at the top of the charts worldwide over the last couple of months. Soulja Boy might have instigated the ringtone-ification of the music biz but few would have ever believed that the song and ringtone would converge so completely in such a perfect, saccharine gumdrop of a pop song. It’s simultaneously glorious and horrible, like the sugar-high that seemingly induced its producers into thinking that guitars and violins and disco beats were obvious complements, ‘Call Me Maybe’ makes everything beautiful, bubbly and fun for the 3’20” it lasts. In its wake, though, it leaves you floored, in the pit of a bad pop comedown, and with the distant notion of learning violin.
SUBMITTED BY SOUND DOCTRINE
With a brand new haircut, ethnicity and sound, Corinne Bailey Rae has re-entered the public consciousness with serious fanfare. Nominated for a Mercury prize in 2010, Bailey Rae has sold over 5 million records worldwide but critics and pundits alike appear to agree that ‘Call Me Maybe’ is her opus. Online internet video reviewers have already said “why is this_ so catchy?” (Sternenfohlen), “hahaha omg wow” (MsLolagurl) and “i want_ to squeeze my nipples when i here this song” (OddImpulse). Compelling, but not the end of things. Justin Bieber, the king of pop himself appeared in a tribute to this very song. THIS. VERY. SONG. I had a lot on my plate this week and didn’t find time to get in touch with Corrine Bailey Rae but here’s what she’d [probably] have to say about the global thunder-reaming that is ‘Call Me Maybe’. “Look, people are idiots, you know? Write a hook, throw in some strings, get paid. It’s just science. I used to do all that soul stuff but people didn’t get it, yeah. With mental illness being massive and all that these days I thought I’d write a song addressing that sort of stuff and just, you know, boys and all that.” I won’t pretend to understand the chemical release activated when these vapid tones venture forth into my primary auditory cortex but I do get more than appropriately aggressive, I’ll say that. 2/10.
SUBMITTED BY THE AU REVIEW
“Pennies and Dimes for a Kiss”? (Bargain).
You play (ahem, mime) music in your garage?
You’re giving me your number?
You’re a Canadian (Idol dropout)?
I think if I was 14 I’d be in love.
But how can I compete with 80 million other 14 year old boys?
Or a chest tattoo (oh but wait for the TWIST at the end)?
It’s these questions that concerned me greatly while forcing myself to watch the ridiculously popular, over produced dribble that is “Call Me Maybe” by Canadian artist Carly Rae Jepsen. When there is so much GREAT music out there, why would you listen to THIS? But if you weren’t shielded from bad music like I was (thanks to my parents for that one), then you simply wouldn’t know better. As a 14 year old, Carly is singing to you, for you, and you’re eating it up. You get your parents to buy you her album and buy you a ticket to her concert. You are single-handedly keeping the music industry afloat. And that’s the reality of it these days. The bad music that rapes our ears is, in effect, keeping the good music alive. From the money that Interscope makes off Carly (who I should point out is in her mid-to-late twenties – though you wouldn’t know it listening to her music), they are able to re-invest it into the smaller artists who we do love: your Noah and the Whales, your Queens of the Stone Ages and even TV on the Radio. Yes, they are all on the same label.
So I’m not going to waste my time complaining about Carly Rae Jepsen. Artists like her are ensuring the music I love keeps getting made. Carly, you can maybe call me anytime. But please don’t.
SUBMITTED BY ACID STAG
Under usual circumstances, you wouldn’t catch us featuring your Justin Biebers, One Directions or Taylor Swifts. However, we’ve made an exception. We have decided to analyse Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ by showcasing the three main factors that have led to its phenomenal success.
The song’s ‘girl yearns for boy’ theme taps into the psyche of her teen audience. Infectious lyrics pertaining to self-discovery, lust and doubt run rampant. This is established early in the song as she declares her lack of control over the situation. “And all the other boys, Try to chase me” is a blatant attempt to increase her self worth and spark jealousy, while reminding him that “maybe” he should call her.
In the music video, Jepsen’s wholesome and marketable persona is coupled with a tattooed, half-naked beau. By utilising the old ad notion of ‘sex sells,’ it gained appeal in another market. The gays. It’s no surprise that the gays exhibit similar music tastes to that of teen girls. Leveraging this idea and partnering it with nudity was a sure fire way to get their attention.
Finally, having a major teen sensation with over 22 million Twitter followers backing you up, also helps with publicity. Justin Bieber tweeted: “Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepson is possibly the catchiest song I’ve ever heard lol.”
SUBMITTED BY DOUBTFUL SOUNDS
Pop music these days seems to fall into two distinct categories – the forward thinking experimentalism of artists like Bjork, M.I.A and Austra and the chart fodder of Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and a million other wannabes. Canadian Idol contestant Carly Rae Jepsen falls firmly into the latter with her effervescent cartoon pop song Call Me Maybe. It ticks all the right musical boxes for a contemporary chart hit (it reached #1 here in Australia) with its clean beat, robotic vocal and strong focus on its synth blasting chorus designed to have teenage girls dancing in unison at their slumber parties. Amusingly the video shows her singing in a suburban garage with a band while the song has no discernible real instrumentation on it. The verses are almost musically non-existent, bland and so beige that the music sounds transparent. It means the focus can only sit with Jepsen’s ‘so shallow they might evaporate’ lyrics which can’t stretch any further than the long exhausted story of ‘I like you and I really miss you, please call me’. This might not sink to the depths of Rebecca Black but it sure isn’t far off.
