When I Grow Up I Wanna Be That Mate Who Actually Uses Their Cashback Feature To Save Moula

I think every friendship group has a financial unicorn. The financial unicorn is not rich, necessarily, nor are they always blessed with rich parents (wonder what that feels like). The financial unicorn, as I see it, is a majestic being that is somehow on top of their crap, financially, regardless of how much they actually have. 

This is the person that always has their taxes in on time (wonder what that feels like), the person who always pays their bills on time, the person who pays their bills ahead of time, even.

You’ve seen versions of this person throughout your life. At school, they colour coded their notebooks and owned every textbook — and they didn’t even draw moustaches on any of the pictures inside said textbook!!! They had actual folders for their loose-leaf papers and didn’t just shove them in their bags to get wrinkled up and forgotten about (I know exactly what that feels like).

I always looked at people like this and thought, one day, that will be me. But the years went by, many suns set, and many rose, and I still can’t figure out how rewards programs work. 

But see, I never really bothered to learn. It’s just one of those things that don’t really feel urgent — it’s the type of thing you say you’ll do this weekend. But then the weekend comes and you’re nursing a hangover and you think, ah well, we’ll do it next weekend. And so on, and so on, until you’re dead and buried with a gravestone that reads “here lies the only loser who didn’t bother to learn how to game rewards to their advantage lmao”.

I don’t want to end up like that, I’d rather my gravestone reads “here lies the only person to ever Jetski down Mount Everest while drinking a milkshake” or “here lies that guy with the pet cobra” — wouldn’t that be cool? Imagine having a pet cobra?!

Anyway, given we’re creeping ever closer to global annihilation, I figured no time like the present to finally get my act together and figure out what this whole rewards and cashback hullabaloo is all about.

Given I’m with CommBank, I headed over to their website and found out a bunch of stuff I had no idea about. Like the fact that you can get rewards just by basically living your regular life??

Through CommBank Rewards, a shopping rewards program, you can basically get a little gift in the form of a personalised shopping reward just by using your CommBank debit or credit Mastercard. How is it personalised? Well, it just infers what you’re into based on what you’re spending your dosh on. So don’t be surprised if your next reward is for dinnersforone.com.au you sad loser! 

Lol sorry, that was too far, you’ll find someone soon. Anywho, the best part is you can set all this up via the CommBank app. Easy as pie — a saying I actually have a gripe with as I’ve tried to make pie before and let me tell you, it is not easy. So ignore that. It’s basically as easy as downloading an app, let’s just leave it at that.

Do keep in mind that the offer needs to be activated and you must meet the offer terms such as minimum spend.

So go ahead, get on CommBank and get to earning those sweet financial rewards just by doing you babyyyy.