Vaginas.
Maybe you’ve got one. Maybe you came outta one. Maybe you’ve come into one.
Despite how deeply integral vaginas are to all of us, we’re seemingly perplexed by them as a society.
Case and point: an alarming trend has emerged of women rubbing Vicks VapoRub into their nether regions in an effort to ‘cleanse’ the area.
Yes, believe it or not, self-conscious women have been scooping out the topical cough suppressant and liberally applying it to their labia in an effort to make it ‘smell fresher’ and ‘soothe itching’.
Not only is the practice totally pointless, it’s also dangerous. Ingredients in Vicks include camphor, menthol, nutmeg oil, thymol, eucalyptus oil, turpentine oil and cedar leaf oil – many of which are known irritants that aren’t fit for being inside the body.
The fucked up practice has been immediately slammed by Canadian gynaecologist and blogger Dr. Jen Gunter (the irony of her last name is not lost of us), who has taken to her wordpress page to warn vagina-havers against the stupid craze.
“I swear there is a random vaginal product generator and people just spin the wheel to discover what shit they can insert today. Which brings me to Vicks VapoRub. In the vagina and on the vulva,” she writes.
First of all, she questions who on god’s green earth would want to make their vagootz smell like Vicks:
“Before we get to the science, such as it is, let’s talk about the smell. Your grandmother’s house. A sick-bed. Moth balls. That is the smell of Vicks VapoRub and if that makes anyone think sexy time or refreshing then I can think of nothing to say but what the actual fuck?”
She goes on to explain that the vagina is a self-cleaning machine that does not need PH-altering ‘feminine’ washes:
“For what I am sure is the 100th time the vagina needs no cleaning and the vulva needs very little. I know the array of useless feminine washes and wipes at the drugstore and the drivel spouted by Gwyneth Paltrow via GOOP imply otherwise, but I’m the actual expert.”
Dr. Gunter then goes on to share an anecdote of a time a bloke tried to make her feel shitty about her lady garden:
“I once dated a guy who insinuated my vagina did not smell right. He was an ass in other ways too, but I just didn’t see it until he impugned my vagina.
“Fortunately I am an appropriately confident vagina expert and I had a light bulb moment and dumped his sorry ass. I realise this may border on TMI, but honestly if it happened to me I bet it has happened to other women. The continued proliferation of the what will they insert next, the products on drug store shelves, and the interest in these posts tells me that I’m probably right.”
“If you think you have a medical condition, see a doctor. If your partner insinuates that an artificial smell is preferable to the smell of a normal vagina they are the one who has an issue.”
Amen.
The misinformation surrounding the almighty vagootz is flappergasting – almost half of all British women can’t point out what bit their vagina is on a diagram of the female anatomy – but thanks to folks like Dr. Gunter, we’re gradually getting it right.
