Last night’s episode of Love Island Australia really made me question the sanity levels of these people they’ve found to populate that fugly villa.
First up, we had the boys being forced to prepare a “tapas” dinner for the girls. Cue Eden & Erin, our favourite horny duo, being granted release to venture into the town to buy supplies. I am 100% sure Erin’s playing up her “I’m a dumb blonde!” act because she literally COULD NOT say the word “tapas”. Which is a very easy word to say. She was like “tapapasa” “tapeppas” “tepapapas” honey come on. No. I call bullshit.
Also for some reason Eden was sniffing all the vegies?
Anyway, the pair fuck everything up in a shop that was literally full of delicious Spanish goods and the boys make a cheese board (!!!!) which like delicious because I see you Manchego cheese, but also in what world is that cooking. I too would like to eat a cheese board every night of the week but then I would get scurvy, probably.
Just a quick sidenote but fuck me, Justin has grown on me. HE’S SO SWEET GUYS. SO SWEET AND DORKY AND ADORABLE. I love him. He was also the only person remotely trying with the girl’s dinner.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bjrl6jCgfbP/?taken-by=justinlacko
The greatest moment IMO was Elias literally giving zero fucks about forming a partnership with anyone in the villa. Just to remind you, the entire point of this show is to couple up and then stomp on people’s hearts when you realise you don’t like them and would prefer to bone someone else. So he’s not really getting it – but fuck me if he isn’t a MOOD. This guy is literally more interested in playing silly buggers with whoever will join him and doing somersaults into the pool. And hey – it’s a fucking paradise in Mallorca! Extreme vibe!
Anyway, both Francoise (not a real name) and Millie rate Elias, but both lament at length about how he flirts with everyone so how are they to know if he actually likes them, you know? Millie plays it way better than Francoise, who seems to be 28 going on 45 year old divorcee who needs to calm her shit – she tricks Elias into a serious conversation by showing him how to do yoga and then BAM! Turning that yoga sesh into a D & M. He looks incredibly trapped, it’s a fantastic moment.
Francoise wants to know if Elias is keen and he’s just like “ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah maybe kinda I dunno”, before getting distracted by a fucking spider. He literally goes “ooh a spider!” and starts playing with it. Good lord, Francoise – this is not the guy for you. This is a man-child.
Millie for her part tries the “I’m soooo chill hahahhaa whatever!” route, which I abhor but given Elias is so disinterested in everyone and this thing is mainly a game and not an actual method for finding true love, she played it way better than srs Francoise. Again, Elias is distracted but he seems to find Millie marginally hot enough to maybe bone in the near future, and gives her a slightly less vague brush off.
FYI, Francoise picked Elias in the recoupling later much to Millie’s chagrin, but it’s totally going nowhere.
Finally, we had the incredibly stupid but useful-for-drama-purposes game of forcing each villa resident to ride a stationary bike and answer yes/no questions. Nothing really comes from this except for Tayla (!!!!) saying if Grant proposed at the end of the series, she’d say yes. Her reasoning? “HAHAHAHA you can be engaged for like FOIVE years guys and then you get a nice ring too!”
You know what, she has a strong point there and maybe we’ve all been doing it wrong, and what we SHOULD do is make everyone we date propose to us and then keep all the spenno rings to flog.
