Overnight while you were silently rehearsing mouthing ‘prune’ to master the perfect pout for your #swaggy #TGIF #selfie, Instagram announced their latest update: a much-rumoured direct messaging system that takes a generous bite out of the steez of your second favourite sexting app, Snapchat, appropriately dubbed Instagram Direct.
Instagram Direct allows you to ‘privately’ send photos of your sexy brunch at The Grounds or your Gordon’s Bay hotdog legs to a carefully curated group of fifteen followers or less at the same time in a continuous thread that, much like Facebook ‘private’ messaging, notifies you when your select recipients have looked at and liked your photos, signalled as always by the Holy Grail of exhibitionist social media validation, the Instagram <3. Direct messages sent from strangers being sex pests or people you just don’t want to follow anymore – because, really Ciara, another designer freebie photo? – will be sent to a separate inbox called ‘pending requests’ until you agree to let the right dick pic in.
Unlike Snapchat, however, your photos don’t seemingly disappear after ten seconds, something cool Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom considers a strength of the new feature: “Instagram is focused on capturing and sharing the world’s moments. What we’re best at is archiving those moments and sharing them with your friends.” According to TIME, Systrom also said Instagram Direct could one day appropriate some of Snapchat’s other features, including the ability to doodle on your doodle, or monetizing those parts of your soul you’ve willingly surrendered. Enjoy!
