What To Expect When You’re Expecting ‘The Shire’ (According To Social Media)

Not sure if you’ve heard but the next 48 hours in television are going to be big. ‘Event television’ big perhaps. Stateside, AMC will air the first episode of the final (half) season of the critically acclaimed televisual masterpiece Breaking Bad. Whereas here, Channel 10 are set to trump even that when they air the premiere episode of a little-known, not-often-discussed ‘dramality series’ called ‘The Shire‘ that – chances are – you may already have a very strong opinion about.

While the show’s vocal detractors so far outweigh those in favour of the scripted “no scripts, promise!” reality show, I think it’s fair to say that everyone is still a little unsure of exactly to expect. The show’s producers – and now its cast – have gone to great lengths to say that their The Shire won’t resemble MTV’s Jersey Shore, or the trans-Atlantic cousins that they’re inappropriately attracted to, The Only Way is Essex and Geordie Shore. Previews so far have skewed the show as a kind of Laguna Beach-style hybrid of the two although it’s still pretty vague just what the feck the show’s actually going to be like, if you don’t automatically just assume that horrendous is the answer.

In the interest of finding out more so that you might have a better idea of exactly what to expect from tomorrow night’s debut, I’ve trawled the social media platforms of several cast members like the creep that I am, so that you can really get an idea of what to expect when you’re expecting the lowest common denominator reality event that will be ‘The Shire’. You’re welcome/I’m sorry.

The Facebook

It’s a good thing I know a whole two people from The Shire, otherwise I would have had a really hard time finding these guys. One cast member, Simon, seems like your average 20-something guy, with interests including Amy Meredith, Samson & Delilah (the film), fitness and Pedestrian Jobs. Good one, Simon. Of all the cast members – and there are a few, around 10 – Simon has left everything on public. There’s a surprising lack of photos of all the other cast members, which doesn’t bode well for an interview I read where Simon says that two other cast mates Mitch and Andy are his IRL best mates.

On all The Facebooks, however, there’s ample shirtlessness and lots of drinking going on, which also doesn’t sit well with the show’s producers placing a two drink maximum on cast members while filming to avoid Jersey Shore comparisons/disgrace.

The best Facebook find, however, was Nikee. Nikee likes ‘I <3 Water’, her own fan page, Kyle & Jackie O and defunct lad’s mags. Aim high, Nikee. Aim high. Beside being an SEO nightmare, Nikee has proven that so far whatever dismal expectations you had of the show are dead on.

The Twitter/Instagram

A few of the cast members are active on The Twit but reading that gave me a headache so I’ll spare you those nuggets of wisdom. Instead, as was the case with Lara Bingle, Instagram proved very helpful in determining things we might be able to expect from the show. Beside a fair bit of NSFW/politically incorrect content, here are some highlights from three cast members’ feeds:

We can expect drinking/socialising at reportedly fake drinking establishments (that’s one rumour going around – that the show was shot in bars resembling Harrold Bishop’s Coffee Shop or Alf Stewart’s general store).

We can expect sobriety:


Dramatic ER scenes:

Eyebrows befitting a drag queen.

Adorable dogs and questionable outfits:


Natural wonders/more drinking:

Ugh. The Shire screens 8.00pm on Monday night. There will be blog… Probably.