Agility has long been the one thing that stands between man and a grizzly death at the hands of a tyrannosaurus rex. But if this frightening new evolutionary discovery is anything to go by, the human race might well be thoroughly fucked.
Undoubtedly mankind’s toughest challenge, the ‘American Ninja Warrior‘ course was designed by ancient tribes and passed down through generations as a means of quickly discovering which crossfit dummy could grip onto a rolling log the longest or scale a 50 foot rope the fastest.
It is the ultimate test of strength, focus, stamina, and sheer force of will; allowing rock climbers and yoga instructors the athletic spotlight cruelly denied to them by their unappealing original choice of profession.
Most importantly, however, it is a course no dinosaur is physically able to complete.
Or, at least, so we thought.
The reckless producers of ‘American Ninja Warrior‘ recently allowed a living, breathing, T-Rex onto the set of the production in what can only be described as gross negligence. The animal was allowed to roam free on the set in full view of the human crew and live audience, thoughtlessly putting countless lives at risk.
But even scarier than that, the beast then began to attempt to traverse the course. And actually succeeded.
The implications for this are staggering:
What hope do we have of survival if prehistoric dinosaurs suddenly develop the ability to traverse a salmon ladder?
How on earth will a human person ever ascend to the glittering summit of Mount Midoriyama when a 65 million year-old creature from the Cretaceous Period is breathing down their neck?
And HOLY SHIT WHY DOES THAT T-REX SUDDENLY HAVE LONG ARMS?
Where the HELL is Ian Malcolm when you need him.
Source: Uproxx.
