WATCH: Fallon’s ‘Pillowtalk’ Rendition Will Make Your Genitals Shrivel Up

Jimmy Fallon is the affable Golden Retriever of the late night TV circuit. He’s fun, loving, and oh God, is he fun-loving. In fact, here he is chumming it up with one of his younger siblings:
He’s certainly proven his chops as a host and his goofy grab-bag of talents serve him well, but he’s not exactly Craig Ferguson, that suave bastard. By that, we mean amidst all of subtle the egg-fetishism and these bloody tight pants, he’s Fallon isn’t a suited-sex symbol in his own right.
His cuddly personality was highlighted tonight as during his patented Lip Sync Battle against equally lovable Melissa McCarthy; after sashaying his way through a predictably effete number, he launched right into Zayn’s froth-worthy Pillowtalk. The results were… writhing. And not exactly in a good way. 
Look, again, the bloke is obviously uber-talented, but chief among those skills may be his ability to render one of the year’s most sultry tracks completely, utterly, bits-shrivelingly unsexy. Bravo, you sweet, sweet man. 

Catch the offending segment at 3:40 below, before he gets absolutely god-stomped by McCarthy’s unbelievable Colours Of The Wind: