Imagine, for a second, being upstaged at your own wedding. Imagine it.
Now imagine you are being upstaged by Taylor Swift, bulk Grammy winner and unfairly hot person, who decided to bring as her date to your wedding not bae Calvin Harris who could have at least helped out on the DF, but a Vogue reporter being paid to do an entire piece about Tay Tay being at your wedding.
This happened. It actually happened.
“To be clear: I’m not saying the people in this church aren’t aware that Scott and Andrea’s kid turned into, you know,Taylor Freakin’ Swift—it’s hilarious to watch the flower girls try to keep it together, and the nuns seem pretty jazzed, too—but that’s not the story today. Britany and Ben are. And the only evidence that the maid of honour is you-know-who is the paparazzi who have gathered at the bottom of the hill, hoping to snag a photo with their long lenses.”
Ah, yes, “the only evidence”.
“Here on a basement floor of the country club, where the bride is adjusting her gown, Swift and I hear the cocktail party gaining steam. A pair of bridesmaids stroll by. Swift gives them high fives.”
And, also unlike the paparazzi, is there for the entire reception.
“When the time comes, Swift grabs the mic and delivers her maid-of-honour address with the unperturbed calm of someone who does this kind of thing before 50,000 people. She tells the story of having a crush on kindergarten-era Ben with his bowl cut and Lego lunch box. She talks about how, as toddlers, Britany was the physical one, and she was the verbal one. ‘Essentially what you had were these two babies who each made up for what the other lacked,’ Swift says. ‘One couldn’t really walk. One couldn’t really talk. And interestingly enough, we assume those exact personas to this day when we are drunk . . . give us an hour.’”
“The room goes crazy.”
Look, we could be wrong. We could be behaving like mean-spirited pop culture writers who can’t take a sweet ‘lil feature at face value and just wanna knock Taylor down a peg.
Read it / judge for yourself.
Source: Vogue.
Photo: Instagram / Taylor Swift.
