Nope. Not even kidding.
It’s apparently called “Orgasmic Meditation” and it is absolutely real, so the story goes.
Londoners are taking to this – look, let’s just call it a “craze” for absolute lack of a better word – in droves, all in search of finding spiritual peace through the art of gittin’ dem some.
The process involves rocking up to a class, stripping off below the waist, and lying across a member of the opposite sex so you can meditate while they pay a handy visit to Cliff Cotoris. You’re finding your happy place whilst a random rustles your jimmies. You’re entering nirvana as some digital DJ spins on your 1s and 2s.
A complete stranger’s gonna fingerblast you while you think of winter, is what I’m trying to say.
The fad apparently started in California and has spread across the pond to the UK. The practice’s creator, Nicole Daedone, even has a TED talk on the topic, because it’s 2016 and that’s precisely the kind of shit that just happens these days.
The classes are marketed towards so-called “free, hip, powerful” women, although men are encourage to join in as well to learn ~improved skills~, or as the course summary puts it:
“Learning how to handle her pussy is equally important as learning how to handle the rest of her. Imagine what would be possible if you learned to do both?”
Yes. Imagine.
But as with all things, there is a catch (y’know, aside from the grossness and the overt heteronormativity, that is). The full-day introductory session where one learns the necessary skills to participate as a “trained meditator” will set you back a cool £147.
That AU$286.
For that amount of money I’d want to be able to rent the hands of God for an hour.
‘Course back in my day if you wanted to get your business attended to by a stranger you’d just go to Next or Hot Damn!, suck down a few vodka raspberries and wait 10 minutes.
But those were simpler times.
Source: Dazed.
