So that week your friend Scarlett Johansson was out of town and was really vague about what she was doing and wasn’t answering any of your texts, it turns out she was getting secretly married, and she didn’t even invite you.
We know, we know, we feel as shocked and betrayed as you do.
Johansson reportedly married her long-term boyfriend, French journalist Romain Dauriac, at a small, private ceremony in the U.S. in September, shortly after the birth of their daughter.
In hindsight, you were stupid not to see this coming – she has been walking around with that ring lately, and there was that time at that dinner party in the Hamptons when she said she was planning to tie the knot “very soon”.
“They kept the big wedding a secret because they wanted privacy,” a source, who Scarlett clearly considers a closer friend than you, smugly told the New York Post.
You should maybe consider sending her a text later to congratulate her, but, like, don’t be mean about it or anything, let her know that you’re the bigger person and you’re really happy for her and not pissed that you had to find out like this.
Photo: Marc Piasecci via Getty Images
