Peaches Geldof (Almost) Died

We’d never wish death upon anybody but I’m sure news of Peaches Geldof’s near-death experience en route to Disneyland in California will illicit some schadenfreude smiles from you dear reader. You cynical bastard. I can see the corners of your mouth turning up now you terrible, terrible human being. You’re sick, all of you.

It is pretty funny though. Mainly because Nostradamus Geldof had the foresight to get Premonition 2.0 and predict the crash in a Tweet: “Speeding like I have never, ever witnessed before on the freeway…feel like I’m in a scary car chase video game”. It is currently unknown whether “speed” refers to velocity like that Keanu Reeves movie or the drug that turns rational humans into walking mop buckets. We think it’s the former but we can’t be sure.

Thankfully no one was hurt and Geldof spent the rest of the afternoon at Disneyland where she lived to fight (and Tweet) another day.

Title Image by Pierre Suu via Getty