Up-And-Coming Star “No One” To Replace Kevin Hart As Oscars Host

After the giant kerfuffle with Kevin Hart both a) having made historical homophobic remarks and b) continually refusing to acknowledge and apologise for said historical homophobic remarks, producers for this year’s Oscars ceremony have apparently spun the Wheel Of Hosts and landed on the rarest outcome of all: No host. The ceremony will have, for only the second time ever, no singular host at all.

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According to Variety, producers for the ceremony have solved the apparently difficult issue of who will host the ceremony by opting to have no centralised host at all. Instead, a rotating cast of A-List stars will be enlisted to host and anchor various segments of the broadcast, which is expected to take advantage of an unusually stacked Best Original Song category, which will likely feature Lady GagaDolly Parton, and Kendrick Lamar.

As Variety reports, the ceremony will be kicked off by “one marquee name” who will deliver “a monologue filled with Trump zingers.” Because the Oscars is, no matter what, the low-hanging fruit of awards ceremonies.

Since Hart “removed himself” from the gig mere hours after being announced for it, organisers have reportedly been scrambling to figure out exactly what to do. Reports suggest that right up until recently the hope was that Hart would be able to take the job back if he issued some sort of adequate public apology. However in repeated interviews since the controversy Hart has repeatedly doubled down on his stance as the victim in the debacle and has refused to entertain any quiet suggestions that he use the experience as an opportunity. A botched interview on Ellen proved to be the last straw in the saga.

An Oscars broadcast with no specific host has only happened once before in the ceremony’s history. In 1989, the broadcast opened with an 11-minute musical number which culminated in Rob Lowe and an actor playing Snow White singing a re-worked version of Proud Mary; a performance which Lowe has never really lived down and which ruined producer Alan Carr‘s career.

Still, an Oscars with no host in 2019 is a novel-enough idea. I mean, sure. Amy PoehlerMaya Rudolph, Tina FeyHannah GadsbyJohn MulaneyNick KrollKeegan-Michael KeyJordan PeeleAwkwafinaBilly EichnerTiffany HaddishLin-Manuel MirandaAndy SambergSandra OhDonald GloverKate McKinnonWanda SykesJeff GoldblumPatton OswaltJessica WilliamsPhoebe Robinson, Abby JacobsonIlana Glazer, the entire cast of The Muppets, and Gritty are all literally right there.

But no host at all? Sure, why not.

The 2019 Oscars ceremony is scheduled to take place at midday on Monday, February 25th Australian time.