Michael B. Jordan Offers To Fix Fan’s Retainers After Thirst-Based Breakage

Black Panther star Michael B. Jordan has offered to reimburse a teenage fan after there mere sight of Erik Killmonger’s shirtless torso caused her to bust some orthodontic work.

The story goes like this: someone chucked up a photo of the exquisitely jacked Jordan on Tumblr, which inspired an orthodontist to share his own unique story.

“One of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off,” the good doctor wrote.

“She clenched her teeth so fucking hard that she snapped it,” they added, saying “that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel.”

We would have been content to let that one lie as an urban legend, a mythical tale of profound hotness, but no – someone informed young Sophia Robb of the orthodontist’s post. Sophia Robb was that girl. And Sophia Robb posted about it on Twitter.

Wait. That girl is me. That is my orthodontist’s tumblr. This is a post about me? I’m going to kill myself https://t.co/ErDqESPrWj

— Sophia (@pixyrue) March 5, 2018

That Tweet subsequently went insanely viral in its own right, to the point where Jordan himself was made aware. Now, the most sympathetic villain in Marvel Cinematic Universe history says he will pay for any orthodontic damages wrought by his impossible pecs.

.@pixyrue since I feel partly responsible for breaking your retainers ????????‍♂️ let me know if I can replace them ????

— Michael B. Jordan (@michaelb4jordan) March 6, 2018

Someone is happy about this development.

here i was thinking i would become a major criminal justice lawyer but in reality i am going to become Sophia (Retainer girl) Killmonger-Robb staying at home with my love children in our beautiful home and this is okay!

— Sophia (@pixyrue) March 6, 2018

Robb’s father Charlie has also chimed in to politely say Jordan’s funds may not be required, as the family has already budgeted for the next occurrence of rampant thirst.

Indeed, everyone, she is OK. Furthermore, I can assure you all that her family has already set aside funds sufficient to purchase yet another retainer, in anticipation of Mr. Jordan's next film. Rest easy.

— Charlie Robb (@crobb149) March 6, 2018

There you go. Wakanda: innovators in technology and teeth-shattering bods.