The shine has officially started to wear off, my friends, and we’re only ten episodes in to ‘Married At First Sight‘, the show that will tempt you into succumbing to your basest reality TV desires and then scar you for life with an image of Dean the Sexist in a paper g-string.
When it’s ‘Yes Week’… 😄 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/Gl2DMDz3X4
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 12, 2018
I’ve lost my lunch, my respect for myself, and my will to live.
Elsewhere in the episode, we had Sarah & Telv being adorable, Charlene & Patrick being adorable, Nasser & Gabrielle being notably absent but presumably also adorable, and some earnest crying and making up on the behalf of Mat and Alycia.
Most entertaining (in my humble opinion) was the increasingly slapstick relationship between Troy and Ashley, which I’ve started to enjoy a lot more now that I’ve stopped thinking of Troy as a person and started admiring Ashley for being, essentially, a pretty good dog trainer.
3,2,1… ROAST! 😅 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/NVqkURqSzf
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 12, 2018
Of course, I and the rest of Australia did throw things at the TV when Troy announced that women are bad at putting furniture together, then proceeded to look perplexed at the instructions while reciting numbers like a broken Speak-n-Spell with a wig glued to it.
No-one likes Troy. At least there’s one thing we can all agree on, as a nation.
Flatpack feels… 😂 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/Obt3hob7qT
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 12, 2018
Every time Troy laughs #MAFS #9married #marriedau #troy pic.twitter.com/mcGs2mGJPF
— Shannon Rae (@iShannonRae) February 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/eenerenee/status/962968170762874880
Every time Troy comes on screen #MAFS pic.twitter.com/UseqN8choM
— 𝓐𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓮 (@blueside21) February 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/alicevictoria19/status/962974942038913024
Troy saying Ashley was lucky by getting the flat pack together lol what an utter knob he is. #mafs
— DeluxeStormBorn™ (@deluxe_tm) February 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/AshleyySpencer/status/962984498135670784
Of course, the REAL interesting shit is going on with Dean and Tracey and Davina. Poor Tracey. Even though she managed to get Dean’s dick out on national TV in the most humiliating way possible, he’s still pulling a fast one on her, texting Davina (who is giving me deeply unpleasant flashbacks to Grade 9) and musing to camera about how she’s pretty hot, sometimes, but maybe she’s not actually hot, but actually overall she’s attractive, yeah.
Oh, and he chucks in some high-grade bullshit about his sexual scumbaggery being a congenital Sydney person thing. Right.
Did dean just justify his shitness by saying he’s just from Sydney and she’s from Perth??? And did Tracey just believe it?? #MAFS pic.twitter.com/pTayCUndJW
— Angie and Yvie (@angieandyvie) February 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/clementine_ford/status/962977364534702080
https://twitter.com/RosieWaterland/status/962979694940364800
https://twitter.com/Tarneen/status/962971309389918208
Wait, so Dean went on a show about getting married even though he wants an open relationship? And he wants an open relationship because he’s from Sydney? Really mate? #dickhead #MAFS
— Jodie Hawkins (@JodesHawko) February 12, 2018
The previews for next ep promise us a Dean and Davina date, which looks like the visual embodiment of how the combination of spray tan and Impulse smells, i.e. like it should be illegal. Can’t wait!
