Tonight was the Tahnee and Ollie show and it’s what the people (and me) wanted, nay needed, in order to survive another week or so of the mind fuck that is MAFS.

I feel rejuvenated. My skin has cleared. My regrowth has somehow disappeared without the need for bleach. Peace has been restored. Life is good.

Tonight’s episode of MAFS started with the dynamic duo getting dressed for the dinner party. Unlike Bronte and Harrison, who were going gung-ho at each other as per (death, taxes and those two doing my fucking head in four nights a week), Ollie was cosplaying as Steve Jobs in his emo Wiggles-esque black turtleneck.

It was at that moment a lightbulb by the name of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson went off in Tahnee’s head. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail, she fetched a gold chain and the pair did a cute lil’ photoshoot.

J’adore! We love! And the internet agreed.

But then we caught wind of the fact Harrison told Ollie at Boiz Night that he and Tahnee’s relationship “wasn’t genuine” and my dark, swarthy roots suddenly reappeared and I broke out in hives à la Hugoat.

Although it’s frustrating as shit to hear such lies, real MVPs, such as the good people of Twitter (and me) know Tahnee and Ollie are literally the only genuine couple on MAFS this season.

Arguably the funniest fucking thing that happened tonight was when Harrison claimed he attended the dinner party sans Bronte to “hang out with his friends”. Are your mates in the room with us RN, Harrison?

“He’s … a guy,” Ollie said in a piece to camera to describe his alleged camaraderie with Harrison and it was stunning. Divine. MAFS fans across the nation agreed it was a real “no notes” delivery.

Mans then started drilling Anko Fabio (Cam), who seemingly just realised that he has a work schedule which is incompatible with a relationship.

Jokes aside, folks were happy to see Ollie holding the court jester, who’s in desperate need of a K18 treatment, to account and asking the hard — but necessary — questions.

The consensus is everyone loves Tahnee and Ollie (as they should) and want them to have their own reality show. Or for Ollie to become Rove McManus 2.0.

While I love nothing more than talking about how normal and grounded and adorable and genuine goals Ollie and Tahnee are, many more things happened tonight on MAFS. Bronte said “NUP … FUCK THIS I’M LEAVING” for the 500th time! Harrison’s sympathy endometriosis flared up and caused him to give another Logie-winning performance! Melinda and Layton had a board meeting at the dinner table! All of which you can read about via our gorgy recap.

If you’re still chomping at the bit for MAFS-related gossip, you can sign up to our newsletter here or give our podcast We’ve Done The MAFS (hehe) a listen.

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Image: Married At First Sight / Channel 9