In the continual knife battle that is the Labor Party, yet another #spill waged in Canberra last night.  

This time, a bizarre ultimatum came with the caucus room ballot:   

Just kidding, it wasn’t that terrible. The ballot came with some hefty stakes: winner takes all; loser can politely fuck off forever. 

After news coverage that was pretty much this for forty minutes, 

A result was announced. The dude that runs isjuliagillardstillpm.com finally got to refresh his website in glee, for the first time in 3 years. Kevin Rudd, Australia’s Lego man lookalike, mandarin speaking, gay marriage supporting, swear-happy politician is now leader of the Labor Party.  

As big as that is, we kind of wish this was the result instead, five stars: 

Unlike the bawling mess Rudd made of himself when he was in the position Julia Gillard is in today; Ms Gillard’s speech after the decision was steadfastly sob-free. They certainly didn’t keep calling her a “warrior” for nothing. Instead of being flanked by family like Rudd’s farewell three years ago, Gillard stood alone and spoke of her proudest moments during her leadership: NDIS, education reforms, starting the Royal commission in to child sex abuse.   

The bloody theatrics of the #spill naturally spawned the term #Ruddwedding, and inspired things like this, while everyone referred to Rudd’s victory as taking the “throne”: 

You can only imagine the collective hysteria of journalists last night as they scrambled to think of a headline to out-pun each other on their front pages. However they must have exhausted all their witty double entendres on Tuesday with the former Prime Minister Gillard’s infamous knitting photo-shoot (meanwhile at Women’s Weekly: *nervously burns every copy of this month’s issue; prepares their Kevin Rudd crocheting shoot for next month*), because all the Daily Telegraph could come up with this morning is a gross sounding word that isn’t even remotely a word: their headline reads, “SWEET KEVENGE”. Yuck.

With Gillard’s formal quit from politics came a procession of her loyal comrades turning in with her: Peter Garrett, Wayne Swan, Stephen Conroy, Greg Combet and Craig Emerson (in Septmber). Other shifts in the party include: Anthony Albanese is Deputy leader of the Labor Party; Penny Wong is the first female to hold the Senate Leader position, Chris Bowen is treasurer. 


And now, after Governor General Quentin Bryce swore him in this morning, Kevin Rudd is now Prime Minister of Australia. Again.