Full disclosure: I tuned in right as Ali and Charlie were pashing so I feel like that was the first 30 minutes done and dusted.

For the full recap, aggressively click on the below. For GIFs and tweets of Jules, keep on reading.

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PHOTO SHOOT TIME.

You know the drill – pray you cop a costume that gets you close to the Bachelor/Bachelorette. If not, embarrass yourself trying to.

Paddy is pissed because he’s dressed as a bell boy and has to juggle a couple of bags while the other one – um, sauce man – Robert is a handsome artist-looking bloke with his arms around Ali.

They form a connection and Paddy is pissed so what does he do? The so-obvious-and-only choice of ogling Ali’s ass and saying “fit” a lot.

BACHELORETTE FUN FACT: Did you know “fit” means “hot” in England? 

Ali’s face screams “Yes, I do know ‘fit’ means ‘hot’ in England.”

Then, Dan, Damien, D-something, and Todd rock up for their high class Halloween photo shoot.

Todd, yeah – good looking rooster, as the Badger would say.

Long story short here – Todd = yes, Dan (the sports reporter one) = no.

Next up: a solo Winter Wonderland photo shoot with Taite. 

Ali feels another ~ connection ~ with ol’ mate Taite and they all but kiss.

“I thought it was supposed to be Winter Wonderland, I didn’t think it would be this hot,” just about sums it up.

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ANYWAY, at the cocktail party Ali takes Robert aside and gives him a couple of kisses – something she’s been thinking about doing all day.

Cheyne – I think that’s how it’s spelt – then takes Ali aside for a quick chat which is cool and all until Charlie comes over.

Charlie already has a rose but he has a big dose of the feels (bit of a Jarrod) so screw the bRo cOdE.

Paddy, a lad – a bro code believer – is pissed off and goes on a huuuuuuuge rant in his faux English accent.

Cheyne does not receive a rose – I, uh, I don’t remember Cheyne very much but ONYA MATE – LOVE THE HAIR.

But the best bit of tonight? Jules‘ goddamn facial expressions during the Rose Ceremony. Context: he was the last bloke to receive a rose so he was freaking out just a tad but instead of the stony facial expressions we usually receive, Jules was really showing the stress.

Words do not do Jules, his face, and his moustache justice.

Oh my God:

KMART THOR.

This was going to be a tweet round up about how terrible Paddy is but I fear he’ll probably somehow stay in the mansion longer than dear Jules.

Still:

Happy Thursday.

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Image: Network Ten