Full disclosure: I tuned in right as Ali and Charlie were pashing so I feel like that was the first 30 minutes done and dusted.
For the full recap, aggressively click on the below. For GIFs and tweets of Jules, keep on reading.
PHOTO SHOOT TIME.
You know the drill – pray you cop a costume that gets you close to the Bachelor/Bachelorette. If not, embarrass yourself trying to.
Paddy is pissed because he’s dressed as a bell boy and has to juggle a couple of bags while the other one – um, sauce man – Robert is a handsome artist-looking bloke with his arms around Ali.
They form a connection and Paddy is pissed so what does he do? The so-obvious-and-only choice of ogling Ali’s ass and saying “fit” a lot.
BACHELORETTE FUN FACT: Did you know “fit” means “hot” in England?
Ali’s face screams “Yes, I do know ‘fit’ means ‘hot’ in England.”
With risk there comes reward in these three stories of suspense and romance with A Season Of Secrets by @CJMillerWrites #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/aKYPUwC6R5— Mills & Boon Australia (@MillsandBoonAUS) October 11, 2018
Then, Dan, Damien, D-something, and Todd rock up for their high class Halloween photo shoot.
Todd, yeah – good looking rooster, as the Badger would say.
Long story short here – Todd = yes, Dan (the sports reporter one) = no.
Next up: a solo Winter Wonderland photo shoot with Taite.
Ali feels another ~ connection ~ with ol’ mate Taite and they all but kiss.
“I thought it was supposed to be Winter Wonderland, I didn’t think it would be this hot,” just about sums it up.
ANYWAY, at the cocktail party Ali takes Robert aside and gives him a couple of kisses – something she’s been thinking about doing all day.
Cheyne – I think that’s how it’s spelt – then takes Ali aside for a quick chat which is cool and all until Charlie comes over.
Charlie already has a rose but he has a big dose of the feels (bit of a Jarrod) so screw the bRo cOdE.
Paddy, a lad – a bro code believer – is pissed off and goes on a huuuuuuuge rant in his faux English accent.
Cheyne does not receive a rose – I, uh, I don’t remember Cheyne very much but ONYA MATE – LOVE THE HAIR.
But the best bit of tonight? Jules‘ goddamn facial expressions during the Rose Ceremony. Context: he was the last bloke to receive a rose so he was freaking out just a tad but instead of the stony facial expressions we usually receive, Jules was really showing the stress.
Words do not do Jules, his face, and his moustache justice.
Rose ceremony feels. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/Rv26MOj3Ax— #BacheloretteAU (@BacheloretteAU) October 11, 2018
If Jules goes home I’m never watching this show again.— Edwin Smith (@edwin_smith1) October 11, 2018
Requesting EVERY SINGLE MEME of Jules that exists on the Internet on the ASAP please thanks. #bacheloretteau— Hillary Jo (@Hirurari) October 11, 2018
did jules purposefully twirl the ends of his moustache #BacheloretteAU— taryn ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง (@thereafter) October 11, 2018
if jules goes, we go #BacheloretteAU— ★ nat ★ (@milkteia) October 11, 2018
Jules is a human GIF machine and I'm here for it. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/aYotlMilLC— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) October 11, 2018
Do chicks actually like guys who twist up their moustache? It’s weird for me #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/EaK6z8a2KV— Kee (@KeeniMaree) October 11, 2018
Jules #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/D0dFc3miNx— Heather???????? (@impossible_cut) October 11, 2018
Jules is my spirit animal #BacheloretteAU— Jordan Lockley (@JQRDIE) October 11, 2018
Jules has taken ALL the drugs #BacheloretteAu— Lola Lowe (@WriterLolaLowe) October 11, 2018
#BacheloretteAU Jules is creeping me out!— MsH????♀️ (@TaintedMuse) October 11, 2018
“Can’t even grow a moustache, do not pass go do not collect a rose” #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/kQVdivW7If— Cin_Emily (@johnnypop69) October 11, 2018
Jules is a human GIF #BacheloretteAU— Lola Lowe (@WriterLolaLowe) October 11, 2018
JULES IS PRECIOUS AND I LOVE HIM ALREADY #BacheloretteAU— Hailey. (@HAILEY_wood) October 11, 2018
Jules looks like a Sasha baron Cohen character #BacheloretteAU— imogeninwonderland (@immy_wonderland) October 11, 2018
Oh my God:
It’s ok. If Jules gets bounced he can go back to terrorizing the Scooby gang.#BacheloretteAu— Ira Snave Ooky Spooky Kooky (@IraSnave) October 11, 2018
Jules gives me these vibes… #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/ZY86pPtpbN— Ezra May (@ezramay) October 11, 2018
Jules reminds me of the @richardroxburgh character in Moulin Rouge. Anyone Else? #bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/ceAiv8voVW— Jodie Willis (@ltlblkdress) October 11, 2018
Jules is Winona Ryder of the #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/bZ0vAYf0w5— Sue K. (@SueKennedy19) October 11, 2018
#bacheloretteau— Dame Kittness (@SoftKittyWarm) October 11, 2018
the guy with the evil twirly moustache is in.
Kmart thor is out.
This was going to be a tweet round up about how terrible Paddy is but I fear he’ll probably somehow stay in the mansion longer than dear Jules.
Fluent fuckwit #bacheloretteau https://t.co/3uCMRkA5jE— Zoe Moon (@MissZoeLaLa) October 11, 2018
More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV
Just Because You’ve Been Inside For A Month Doesn’t Mean You Should Shave In A Moustache
Hang The Fuck On, Billy Ray Cyrus Spilled On Talks For A ‘Hannah Montana’ Prequel
A Fond Look Back At The Fucked Fake Follicles Of The 2010’s Moustache Trend
Someone Shaved Mario & He Looks Like A Fucked Up ‘Fireman Sam’ Offcut