It’s finally here guys! How will the new look Blues team perform? Can the Maroons win a record seventh consecutive Origin series without Darren Lockyer and his inspirational gravel voice? How will Twitter handle Delta Goodrem’s pre-match singing thing? All will be answered tonight when the Cockroaches of New South Wales face off against the Canetoads of Queensland in game one of the 2012 State of Origin series at Etihad in Melbourne.
With just a few hours til kickoff we decided to pop the cork early and put together a State of Origin drinking game where everyone wins! Raise a glass and play along below. It’ll get you drunk.
Take a drink if…
– Phil Gould’s pre-game inspiration monologue includes any of the following words: ‘courage’, ‘dig deep’, ‘history’, ‘biggest game of their lives’, ‘passion’, ‘resilience’, ‘poise’.
– Nine accidentally cuts to a shot of Mal Meninga picking his nose.
– Fight.
– Near-fight.
– A tackle is described as bone-crunching.
– Ray Warren uses verbs which could also apply to horse racing or ballet: “dance”, “shimmy”, “flick”, “pirouette”, “ride”, “gallop”.
– Ricky Stewart places his head in his hands. One sip for anxiety. Two for disappointment.
Finish your glass if…
– #Pie #Saver trends on Twitter after footage of Matt Sing spectacularly “saving” a pie by sliding under a chair and balancing it on his foot goes viral.
– Fatty is not remotely close to hiding his Queensland bias.
– Cuss words are picked up by the ref mics.
– Nine’s closed caption team deciphers 0% of Darren Lockyer’s pre-game match analysis.
– Someone completes a 40/20 play.
– Justin Hodges seems “douchey”.
– Billy Slater scores a 90m try off a kick return.
– Someone gets concussed.
– An origin debutante literally shits his pants.
Drink the entire contents of your liquor cabinet if…
– Alan Langer makes another Origin comeback. Dies while doing so.
– Delta Goodrem wears non-prescription glasses during her pre-game singing performance (panned).
– The Blues make history when they substitute Mitchell Pearce with an Andrew Johns hologram.
– Gorden Tallis leaves the stands to spear tackle a streaker. He later blames it on muscle memory.
– Petero Civoniceva attributes his playing longevity to preparation and kitten blood.
– Both teams halt play, form a circle around the halfway line and threaten suicide unless crowned the first joint winners of an Origin series. It is later revealed that both coaches made their players read The Hunger Games, a decision which they regret.
– New South Wales wins (jokes).
Happy Origin everyone.
Title Image by Scott Barbour via Getty
