Laydeez looking for D in all the wrong places (like a television show) now have a name and dat ass to commit to memory (before quickly feigning forgetfulness as part of their aloof, fun gal persona) in anticipation of their first encounter with the star of Channel Ten’s The Bachelor and their ill-advised maiden voyage into the tepid hot tub waters of televised dating.
The titular bachelor is Tim Robards, 30, a semi-eligible Sydney or LA-based chiropractor born and raised in Newcastle. According to TV Tonight, his interests include #cleaneating and #fitspiration, “an active lifestyle, cooking healthy meals, working out and doing yoga;” you know, regular, really boring stuff.
Undisclosed interests also probably include going on shopping sprees to the mall and perpetrating to his friends that he be balling if today’s Telegraph are to be believed. They’re reporting that Robards is also a part-time topless waiter and full-time scrub “who may not be all he seems,” having only assumed the show’s requisite bachelor status conveniently in time for the show.
As of next week, Robards will begin the Darwinian process of weeding out a life partner from a particular breed of twenty-five women – separating the sweet from the chavs, as it were. Bachelor Tim is searching of a woman to wed “who [is] honest, intelligent, down to earth and [has] a sense of humour”; sticking to this criteria should really narrow it down for Tim, because no woman who fits that description would ever go on The Bachelor.
“Tim is doing this to be famous,” one source redundantly chimes of Bachelor Tim.
“He’s dated pretty much everyone in Sydney. He’s a nice enough guy, but he’s a player,” the source continues.
Do you live in Sydney? Have you dated this good-for-nothing type of brother, this bug-a-boo? You probably have; I mean, he has dated “pretty much everyone.” Plus, tou should really start thinking about settling down soon, lest you end up on The Bachelor.
Meanwhile, go vote for an independent woman or two in this entirely unrelated Bachelorette competition.
Photo: Gaye Gerard via Getty
