Gwyneth Paltrow may or may not have unwittingly provided a little bit of insight into the sex lives of her and her new hubby Brad Falchuk, and the one she shared with her Coldplay ex, Chris Martin.
[jwplayer TRxKEefV]
As uncovered by Comments by Celebs (982K followers!), the Insta you’re gonna wanna follow right now, Paltrow appears to have commented on a meme from the Instagram famous @crazybitchprobs_ (1.6 million followers, baby!), where she reposts a tweet from @Carlyycattt (18.9K followers, ye!).
The tweet from April last year, an exercise in v. vanilla but maybe a li’l kinky gals shouting “TOO REAL“, reads:
“I wanted to die after my ex left me but than I found somebody that died me up and stuck their thumb in my ass. Life is about growth.”
https://twitter.com/Carlyycattt/status/986593254387998721
Sounds hot. And true: life really is about growth.
Anyway, Paltrow seems to think so too, commenting on the ‘Grammed tweet a simple response: “Preach“.
Gwynny babes, what are you saying here? (If we assume you are saying anything more than: wow, what a funny meme).
Because to me this implies a number of things:
- Chris Martin left Paltrow after 11 years of marriage in 2014 – which doesn’t sound so much like ‘conscious uncoupling’ at all.
- The bloke she married in the Hamptons in September last year, TV writer and producer, Brad Falchuk, ties her up and has stuck his thumb in her arse during intercourse.
- Chris Martin did not do those totally normal, sexy as long as enthusiastically consensual, things.
Paltrow, with one word, one sweet Insta joke, has just outed herself as a straight-up minx in the bedroom, and her ex as someone who cannot abide very low-level kink and butt stuff. Which is doubly funny in a weird way because Martin’s new squeeze is Fifty Shades lead Dakota Johnson.
I have no doubt Paltrow was titillated reading those books, just like every other woman in the entire world who could overlook E.L. James‘ rubbish prose (everyone).
Paltrow is a fave on the Comments by Celebs page, because she is very happy to make fun of herself at basically all times, and also loves memes. A dedicated follower of memes. Proof:
There you have it: you now know something you didn’t want or need to know about Gwyneth Paltrow’s sex life, and we all got to look at memes together. What a great day.
