Darrell Lea’s Top 10 Contributions To Confectionery

Lovers of Australian-made chocolate are in shock with the news that family-owned sweets franchise Darrell Lea has gone bust, forcing the company into voluntary administration. Who knows what is to become of this 85-year-old institution, but regardless of what the future holds there will always be memories of Darrell Lea’s finest contributions to the nation’s confectionery, and to the people whose teeth have been destroyed from eating them.

This is our tribute to the iconic retailer, showcasing 10 of Darrell Lea’s Greatest Hits.

10. CARAMEL SNOWS Chewy bite-sized rectangular prisms of gelatinous caramel, striped with dark chocolate gel and nondescript white stuff. More than likely contains some kind of animal fat as well as the key to my heart.

9. COCONUT ROUGHS At the risk of painting with a broad brush, anyone who doesn’t like Darrell Lea’s Coconut Roughs is a soulless f*cking idiot.

8. RASPBERRY LIQUORICE TWISTS 50 Shades Of Gray has nothing on the pleasure that these low-fat sugar-packed deliciously tart mouth angels can offer a human.

7. DARK CHOCOLATE BULLETS Darrell Lea’s Milk Chocolate Bullets are also delicious but there’s something inexplicably comforting and sentimental about the dark chocolate ones. I’m pretty sure that if a Grandparents Handbook exists, it includes the tip “always carry Darrell Lea’s Dark Chocolate Bullets”. They are the grandparent’s hug of the Darrell Lea confectionery catalogue.

6. FLOWING CARAMEL CHOCOLATES Of Darrell Lea’s wrapped chocolate range the Flowing Caramel is by far the superior option. If you ever gifted a box of DL’s mixed wrapped chocolates to a friend or family member, there is a 100 per cent chance that they ate the Flowing Caramels first and fobbed off the rest to an unwitting younger sister or pet dog.

5. ALMOND NOUGAT BAR Don’t be fooled by the “Lite” warning on the package. This delicious little guy tastes legit.

4. PEANUT BRITTLE FINGERS Peanut Brittle smothered in creamy milk chocolate? Genius alert! The Darrell Lea think tank is responsible for coming up with this mouthwatering work of hybrid-candy brilliance.

3. CHOCOLATE LOG The name sounds a bit like a euphemism for poo but the official description reads Toasted coconut and milk chocolate in a crunchy swirl smothered in rich dark chocolate so shut up and give me one now please.

2. FRESH LIQUORICE Hands down the best Australian-made liquorice known to man.

1. ROCKLEA ROAD Worth fighting for:

NB Halfway through writing this I ran out of the office to get some dark chocolate bullets because I COULDN’T TAKE IT.