Stale Take: ‘Dance Moms’ Is Television Gold And It Deserves Our Respect

When it comes to trash TV, shows like The Bachelor, Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Real Housewives are top tier and folks generally aren’t shy to admit that they’re obsessed.

A show like Dance Moms, however, belongs at the absolute bottom tier of trash TV – and I’m not ashamed to say that I fucken’ love it.

In case you’ve never had the sheer pleasure of checking out the bottom rung of lifestyle television, Dance Moms is about, well, it pretty much speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

It follows Abby Lee Miller, the owner of an American dance company called the ALDC (Abby Lee Dance Company).

Miller is a savage, loud-mouthed dance teacher who takes great pleasure in yelling at her students and chastising their mothers, who watch on as she verbally abuses their kids.

Yep, now ya see why people generally don’t admit that they watch the show. But once you get over the embarrassment of actually enjoying Dance Moms, it’s a damn good time.

The episodes show the kids preparing for various low-budget dancing competitions, while their mothers compete over which child deserves Abby’s praise.

Some of you are probably thinking, ‘What the hell is a grown-ass man doing watching a show about little kids dancing?’

Well, despite the word ‘dance’ being in the title, that’s not even a focal point in the series and honestly, it’s way darker than the glitter and sparkles would have you believe.

In the later seasons, you see Abby Lee Miller’s downfall as she’s arrested for bankruptcy fraud, resulting in her spending a year in prison (you can read all about that wild turn of events here).

There’s also an ICONIC scene where Miller gets into a physical fight with one of the mothers. Miller ends up pressing charges against said mother and expels her kids out of the dance school.

Catch the fight scene below:

So if ya wanna see Abby cuss out little kids while helicopter parents compete in a death-match for attention, I highly recommend watching Dance Moms at 11AM every weekday on GO!

FUN FACT: Prior to COVID-19, Australian national treasure Nikki Webster revealed that she, and apparently Abby Lee Miller herself, are working on an Aussie version of the popular show.

Let’s hope it still pans out post-pandemic!

Anyway, that’s it from me.