Literally every person in existence has watched at least one episode of Sex and the City. It’s that show that’s always rerunning on TV or has like 6 random episodes on the in-flight entertainment system that you’ll watch when you exhaust the Marvel flicks.
The show was groundbreaking in the 90’s for it’s portrayal of smart, independent women in their 30’s and their chill attitudes towards sex – and if you want to feel old, it turned 20 this week.
It also… wasn’t perfect. There were plenty of fucked up moments, from the highly probbo to the just plain ridiculous or annoying. Most of it flew over your (likely too young to be watching an MA 15+ show) head when you watched the first time around. So we’ve compiled some moments we remember that now are like “excuse me what?”.
CARRIE SENDS HER BOYFRIEND TO RESCUE NAKED MIRANDA IN THE BATHROOM
Okay, so Miranda definitely called Carrie on this in the episode, but can we just acknowledge the EXTREME LEVEL of nope here? Think of how you treat your pal’s boyfriends. The relationship is sort of a weird brother-sister vibe, except less close. WAY less close. So imagine if your mate sent their boyfriend to pick your naked ass up off the bathroom floor. I would die. RIP that friendship, seriously.
CARRIE GETS ALL BIPHOBIC AND SHIT
Carrie’s going to feature a lot here because she was *Jean-Ralphio voice* the wooo-ooorst! But one of her most fucked moments was when she started dating cool-guy Sean, this young and hip dude 10 years her junior who also identifies as bisexual. Her attitude? Bisexual men will always cheat on you for dick, and that bisexuality is a “layover to Gaytown”. Hoooooo boy, imagine this ep airing in 2018.
EVERYONE’S MEAN TO MIRANDA COZ SHE DIDN’T WAX HER VAG
Okay, so it’s the Sex and The City movie, and Carrie’s just been ghosted at her own wedding by the worst guy everrrr, Big. Fucked. The gals all band together last minute to join Carrie on her honeymoon so it’s less shit, and when they finally chill out in the sun – Samantha shames Miranda about her bikini line, which she’s let go because, um, she has fucking KIDS and also lives in New York where she’s not routinely popping on her togs and probs doesn’t give a shit. Their attitude? Apparently Miranda not waxing her hoo-ha is probs why Steve cheated on her. ARE YOUUUU SERIOUSSSSSSSS. Also hi from someone who always gives up on shaving her legs daily at around month two of any relationship. Who are these women.
CARRIE BASICALLY VALIDATES EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABILITY & SHIT DUDES
Okay I knowwww it’s a show and it’s fun and there are people out there who love Big. I personally think he’s a giant man-baby who literally NEVER dealt with his shit, ever. But hey. Agree to disagree. Anyway, one of the most fucked up things about this show to me was that having Carrie end up with Big after he does literally NOTHING to change, and just decides to pick her up again after dumping her in the garbage, was that it just validates dating emotionally fucked people and letting them back into your life after they repeatedly treat you like shit. Don’t do that! It’s bad!
CARRIE DUMPED AIDEN IN THE FIRST PLACE (AND CHEATED ON HIM)
Here’s a personal gripe I’m putting in here because I’m writing this story so I fucking can do what I WANT! I cannoooooooot believe Carrie ever dumped Aiden. He was PERFECT. He had a cute dog. He was a total chiller. He treated Carrie like a queen. He was hot as shit. Like what do you want, woman. Oh! I know! You want the fuckhead that’s Big. Because you are broken inside and what you should have done was go see a psychologist and say “I’m a terrible person who is self-obsessed and mean to all my friends and I am drawn to emotionally unavailable men. Help me” and then fixed your fucked up internal stuff, for god’s sake.
WHEN THEY ALL TELL SAMANTHA SHE’S FAT
Okay what the actual shit guys. Remember when Samantha flies in from LA for Carrie’s wardrobe purge or whatever the fuck that was in the first movie, and they’re like “….oh” because Samantha has maybe added like one gram of fat to her extremely lithe body while she’s been in California. SAMANTHA WAS NOT FAT. Also, you’re her pals? Like sure if my pal flew in and she looked like maybe she had a serious illness I would say something. But your mate has gone up a dress size? Fuck right off.
CARRIE CRACKS THE SHITS AT CHARLOTTE FOR NOT LENDING HER MONEY
So Carrie’s shit with money. We know this – the girl has a stupid fake job (more on that in a second) and somehow manages to buy Manolo Blahniks every week. Rather than flog her exhaustive shoe collection and all her designer clothes, she loses it at Charlotte for not offering her money when she needs a down payment to buy her apartment, and stops speaking to her. Eventually Carrie basically guilts Charlotte into lending her the 40k she needs. Because guilting someone’s always a good friendship move.
CARRIE HAS A STUPID FAKE JOB
As a writer, it really offends me on a deep level that we’re meant to believe Carrie makes enough money to afford her ridiculously lavish lifestyle and all her fancy clothes from freelancing out one single column a month. NO. NOT REALITY. I can tell you right now I’m a Senior Editor these days and I still shop primarily at thrift stores and Cotton On. I do not own one Gucci/YSL anything because if I did I would have to eat only rice and I love food too much. The thing is – I get that the show is fun and frothy and the fashion was a huge part of that. But like – Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha’s jobs would all score hefty pay packets that would warrant a designer wardrobe. So they should have just made Carrie like a sex book writer or a high flying fashion editor, you know?
THEY’RE ALL SHIT FRIENDS
Everyone always goes on ad nauseam about what ~friendship goals~ the foursome are. But they’re… totally not. Watch one of their infamous brunches today, and you’ll notice they all talk over one another, don’t listen in the slightest, turn any subject to themselves at all times and are fucking mean. Okay, sometimes they’re good pals – Charlotte protecting Carrie when Big tries to talk to her after the wedding ghosting, when the girls rally around Miranda at her mum’s funeral… but overall, they’re awful self-absorbed dicks.
This one’s included not because it was probbo or dumb, but because godDAMN if it wasn’t a precursor to all dating in this day and age. To recap, Carrie’s dating this guy Berger. He’s a deep, broody writer type. Anyway, he gets overwhelmed by their very chill relationship (hi) and instead of giving her the decency of a face-to-face breakup (hello) he leaves a post-it note saying “I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me”(extremely hi and also hello). If that isn’t the embodiment of your entire dating history then you’ve either never dated in the 2010’s or you’re a robot.