We all thought the end of days would bring plagues of locusts, devastating natural disasters and horrors beyond the comprehension of man. What we didn’t expect were cursed culinary creations to appear every so often to remind us of the choices we have collectively made to land us in this timeline. Today our reminder comes in the form of raspberry-flavoured Twisties.
Nope, you didn’t read that wrong. Raspberry Twisties are the latest weapons of delicacy devastation that have been handed down to us from the gastronomical gods and they’re all a product of our own doing.
The Twisties team put it to the people late last year to decide on the next limited-edition flavour they would create and sell en masse. The choice was between two pretty acceptable flavours (Cheesy Bacon and Cheeseburger) and the more alarming one: Twisted Raspberry.
Is this a joke? A ruse? Some kind of funny-ha-ha prank that around 6000 of you decided to pull on the rest of us unassuming people who are simply wanting a nice little treat?
The raspberry Twisties apparently hold a juicy and sweet sherbert flavour which feels incredibly wrong. No two ways around it — Twisties are meant to be a savoury snack so introducing the idea of a fizzy, fruity flavour is just making my head swim.
This cooked new flavour is set to land on shelves sometime in June — which means it’s definitely not an April Fool’s Day gag. As much as I thought this might all just be a Jackass-level prank, it’s apparently not. These crime chippies are very much real and you will be able to treat (???) your tastebuds to them soon.
These new Twisties will only be around for a limited time so if you’re keen to put your tongue to the test and really confuse your brain, you’ll have to move quickly.
Will I wind up trying some out purely so I feel vindicated that chippies should only be savoury? Yeah, look, probably but let it be known I do not condone this behaviour.