In Sad News For Club Rats Everywhere, Patrón XO Cafe Liqueur Is Being Permanently Discontinued

Patrón XO Cafe

Beloved Patrón XO Cafe, the tasty mix of coffee and tequila, will be discontinued forever. Welp.

Patrón XO Cafe is a 35% alcohol by volume dry coffee liqueur, which is actually a pretty hefty percentage. Compare that to other coffee liqueur brands like Kahlua (20%) and Tia Maria (20%), you can see why people do shots of this bad boy.

I have little memory of the night I first did a Patrón XO Cafe shot, but what I do remember is an older gent buying them for me and my friends in Richmond. Looking back, maybe it wasn’t the best idea – but if it wasn’t for that night I probably would have never tried the coffee liqueur.

So why is the Bacardi-owned drink being taken off shelves? Well, the company noticed that Patrón XO Cafe’s popularity was diminishing – particularly in the UK. But surprisingly, sales drastically increased during the pandemic from £550k to £1.9m (AUD $1m to $3.5m) — according to HITC.

They now want to focus on promoting their ultra-premium tequilas, as that part of the alcohol industry is actually booming. Which surprises me, because I thought tequila was all about picking the cheapest one, doing too many shots and then projectile vomiting into your mate’s toilet? Turns out, some people actually savour the taste and are responsible drinkers.

“It’s an incredibly exciting time to be in the tequila business – we are thrilled to see consumer demand for tequila continuing to explode around the world,” Patrón Tequila president and COO Mauricio Vergara said.

“Tequila is seeing rapid growth and incredible momentum – not just in the United States, but it is the second-fastest-growing category in value across the globe.”

It’s a real loss to the clubbing community who will now have to order a wet pussy or jam donut shot if they’re looking for something sweet that will also quickly knock them on their ass. Personally, I’d rather die than go to a bar and order a wet pussy shot. Guess it’s a plain old tequila shot for me then.

Also, just quietly: I reckon you can still buy Patrón XO Cafe at Dan’s or another grog shop. So stock up quickly, before these bad boys start selling on Ebay for a grand.