Messina’s Xmas Coma Is A Sticky Date & Toffee Trifle Which, Let’s Be Honest, Will Shit On Nan’s

Sticky date and toffee trifle from Messina with orange, brown and white cream layers and text reading "put me on the naughty list"

Prepare thine gullets because everyone’s favourite purveyor of fine treats Gelato Messina has announced this year’s Christmas Coma. I would start making room already because this tantalising trifle is, dare I say it, not to be trifled with; she’s a glorious, gooey goddess that would make any contestant on The Great British Bake Off cream their jeans.

What makes this year’s Messina Christmas Coma so glorious, you ask? Well, it’s a deliciously decadent twist on the rinky dink sticky date pudding, which I’m sure will have Women’s Weekly cookbooks across the country shaking. This trifle has got layers of caramel crémeaux with sticky date and toffee pudding, crème fraîche chantilly and chocolate-coated biscuit crumble.

Let’s cop a closer squiz, shall we?

Lord have mercy. Photo credit: Supplied.

I would commit state and federal crimes for the chance to dive head first into that beautiful binch. The oozy chantilly that’s as white as snow! The superb orange tones in that caramel crémeaux! The chocolate crispety cruncheties! Jesus wept.

But that’s not all. The layered masterpiece is topped with a hand-made white chocolate wreath, which is simply the most festive pièce de résistance I’ve ever seen.

GIVVUS. Photo credit: Supplied.
AHHHHHHH. Photo credit: Supplied.

The wreath is green! And there are dazzling berries and baubles perfectly crafted from chocolate! Plus the most intricately detailed leaves I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing with my two eyeballs! She’s truly a work of art.

As if the disgustingly good trifle wasn’t enough, the Christmas Coma also comes with a slew of scrumptious (and stylish) treats.

That’s right, you’ll also get a litre of Messina’s very own brandy custard, assorted panned nuts and delectable treats from its chocolate room and a snazzy Messina-branded cooler bag. It’ll be the perfect accessory to pound the pavement with when you’re en route to Christmas lunch.

Speaking of which, if you want to be the talk of the dining table on December 25, you can pre-order one of these custom-made food coma-inducing desserts for $250. Before you go calling your financial advisor, just know the ‘yuge trifle will feed between 20 to 30 gobs, so it’s really the only sweet treat you’ll need on the day.

Alternatively, you can do a Bruce Bogtrotter in Matilda and devour the whole thing yourself, in which case the purchase is simply an act of self care. If there was a Messina in Perth and I could order the Christmas Coma, that’s most definitely the route I’d be taking.

The Messina Christmas Coma is available for pre-order on Tuesday, November 1 via the Messina website, with a staggered release schedule across all stores.

ACT and QLD stores are kicking things off at 9am AEDT, with all Victorian stores going on sale at 9.15am AEDT. After that, NSW’s trifles will be released in three groups.

At 9.30am, Bondi, Miranda, Randwick and Surry Hills will get going. At 9.45am, Brighton Le Sands, Darlinghurst, Parramatta, Tramsheds and Marrickville will start moving and shaking. Then at 10am AEDT, Darling Square, Newtown, Norwest, Penrith and Rosebery will fang their trifles on sale.

Go on, treat yourself.