Gather round coriander haters, it’s time to celebrate our passionate dislike for the shitty thing that taste like the devil’s soap. No really, many among us including the I hate Coriander Facebook page are celebrating the international day on Feb 24. This ain’t just a causal rant day, it’s worldwide.
Lucky for us, Uber Eats are dropping some spicy tips to avoid crappy coriander tomorrow because we all know how easily it sneaks into our meals and ruins the rest of the year for us.
Not dramatic at all.
So here are some tips to avoid the shitty stuff:
Defriend all your coriander loving ‘friends’
It’s Friday and time for a dinner party without all that MAFS drama. So you invite your friends over and shock horror one of them likes coriander. They Uber Eats a meal with it, things get awkward, you are in fact on MAFS. Honestly, you can avoid all of this if you don’t invite them, better yet defriend them.
Again, not dramatic at all.
Triple-check the menu for hidden traps
First world problem alert – finally digging into your dinner only to pause mid-way ‘cos you can…taste…it. UGH. Nope your way out of this situation by going through that menu like it was your first ever Yr 12 exam.
Attack the ‘special instructions’ box
Have a delicious sigh of contentment as you add, “no fucking coriander pls” to your order. It’s as simple as that.
Pay bloody attention to your drinks ‘cos they’re in there too
Just when you think you’re safe with an innocent drink, there they are completely throwing off a perfectly good fruit juice. Such a joke.
Hit up DIY restaurants AKA our food lord and saviours
Uber Eats recommend Guzman y Gomez, Fishbowl, Loaded by BL, and Nudefish to have total control of your own meals. The way it should be.
And here are some tips if you accidentally consume coriander and feel it passing through your system:
Again, Cancel friendship
If it’s your mate’s fault your safe space has been ruined by coriander then just say goodbye and be done with it.
Scull a bottle of Siracha sauce
Anything’s better, anything. Or alternatively, you can just burn your taste buds away. That works too.
You’re already salty so you may as well have some more. Salt should do the trick when it comes to exorcising the demon that is coriander.
Lemon sorbet anyone? Find a super strong one and you’ll slap the coriander right outta your mouth.
Coriander haters are already good at it.
Also being a coriander-hater is an actual thing. Science says some of us are just genetically programmed to taste soap instead of edible food so ha.