Created in association with our m8s at Visa.
Semantics matter, people. Being a worldly, knowledgeable traveller > being a uninformed, mistake-makin’ tourist. Ja feel?
It can be highly difficult to pretend you’re #notatourist when you’re in a place you’ve never visited before; no one likes acknowledging that they have absolutely no idea where to go or what to order. We’ve teamed up with the legends over at Bondi Harvest to take a walk on the culinary wild side and give you a heads up before you head over.
While it’s common to assume that the United Kingdom only exclusively serves meat ‘n taters with two veg, or that subsists entirely on Carling, neither are completely true. The little ol’ islands that contain Great Britain, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have some absolutely bizarre foods, and some names that are bound to confuse and shock even the most steel-stomached tourist. You’ve probably already heard of Spotted Dick (it’s tasty, but difficult to order without giggling), but the UK has strange delicacies coming out of their Prince Charles-sized ears:
CULLEN SKINK
A smoky fish soup that is hearty, but not for the faint-hearted. While the recipe differs between regions of Scotland, it always contains smoked haddock (a cold-water fish), potatoes and onions. Skink apparently comes from the similar etmology as ‘shank’, meaning shin, or hough – so the name technically makes absolutely no sense, seeing as fish don’t have shins. But w/e, it’s a well-known Scottish delicacy and it is scrumptious, laddie.
SUSSEX POND PUDDING
This Sussex suet pud may sound a little strange, but gaddamn it is good. It is sweet pastry with brown sugar and butter filling, and a whole, steamed lemon on the inside. As it steams, the lemon kind of marmalades itself with the sugar and butter. It should come with the a health warning, if we’re honest. Totally worth it, though. You will dream about it on your flight home, and every day for the rest of your life, possibly.
STARGAZY PIE
How into fish are you? So much so, that you’d be totally chill with heads of whole fishies sticking out of your dinner? Us neither. But, Cornwall in England seems totally fine with it, and has a well-known pie that contains whole baked pilchards, eggs, potatoes and onions. And the pilchards have their heads sticking out the top of the crust, usually along with stars made out of pastry. You guessed it… because they’re stargazing. 
SOOR PLOOMS
“Hi, could I grab some Soor Plooms?” – if you say it with a Scottish accent, it’s clearly a play on ‘Sour Plums’, but hey – we’re not the ones who named these iconic hardboiled lollies. Those crazy Scots like their sweets very sour, apparently. The wives tale goes that the lollies were created in remembrance of a skirmish near Galashiels in Scotland, when locals managed to storm and kill an unsuspecting group of Englishmen because they were distracted by eating some unripe plums.
BLACK PUDDING
Turns out that the British are very liberal with their use of the word ‘pudding’, as we discovered when the Bondi Harvest boys recommended ‘Black Pudding’ to us for this article. It’s tasty in its own right, but a dark chocolate dessert this is not: it’s blood sausage. That’s correct – congealed blood in sausage form. Deeeeelish! It’s typically served with a big breakfast (or, ‘fry-up’).
BARA LAWR/LAVER BREAD
Do not order this, thinking its some kind of delicious bread. IT IS NOT BREAD. It is actually cooked, mushy seaweed. It’s a Welsh delicacy, and they often eat it for breakfast, on toast, or with bacon, eggs and cockles. We know that seaweed is supposed to be really good for you, and it’s really high in iron and B12, but honestly. You are INSANE, Wales.
TABLET
Toffee too chewy, but want something a little harder than fudge? Split the difference, and ta-dah! You have the Scottish sweet, ‘Tablet’; it’s just sugar, condensed milk and butter which has been boiled, then allowed to cool and crystallise. It’s like a softer, milky toffee; it’s obviously sweet to the point of seizure-inducing (if you have sensitive teeth, your teeth will ache profusely just from being in the same room), but it is absolutely damn delightful.
Now: you’re #notatourist, you’re a traveller. Go forth and enjoy everything the United Kingdom has to offer with Visa – it’s money you can’t lose. We’re speaking the Babe, guvna. (That’s Babe Ruth = truth, in case you need to brush up on your Cockney.)
