Solve this riddle: “One day I’m in, the next day I’m out; I’m able to mould and adapt to whatever role is required of me, and though I play a huge part in the fashion industry I’m often seen as an obstacle to a designer’s vision. I’m pert, German and a part of every grrrrown woman who can do whatever she wants. Who am I?”
If you guessed, ‘Regular Heidi Klum,’ you’d be correct.
If you also guessed, ‘Boobs! Specifically, The Boobs That Assaulted Heidi Klum’s Field Of Vision During The Season Final Of Germany’s Next Top Model,’ you’d also be correct; plus, it’s more fun this way.
Heidi Klum, a female lingerie model presumably accustomed to the sight of 8008135 both her own and otherwise, was ambushed on stage during the final catwalk portion of GNTM late last week by four rogue, politically-engaged boobehs.
Two Femen protestors wearing nothing but chic black jeans, their glorious womanhood and slogans reading HEIDI’S HORROR PICTURE SHOW and SADISTIC SHOW, stormed the stage and bared themselves in front of Klum and GNTM Lovelyn Enebechi, the girl whose dreams of becoming an internationally talked about supermodel were overshadowed by the show-stealing mammaries and the fact that her win probably won’t amount to much because boobs.
“Did I just see breasts in front of me, or did I dream it?” asked Klum, who could no longer distinguish waking from sleep.
Klum looked a vision in the same Atelier Versace dress Selena Gomez, 20, wore to the Billboard Music Awards a week ago.
On Saturday, Heidi Klum turned 40.
Happy Boobsday Heidi Klum.
Photo: Thomas Lohnes via Getty
