22-year-old University of Iowa student and massive trashbag Samantha Gouldie has reached dizzying heights of internet fame overnight after getting hammered, trying to invade the field at a football game, getting dragged to jail and recording a .341 blood alcohol reading, Tweeting all the while.
The University of Iowa‘s internal police department said Gouldie “was unsteady on her feet” when they stopped her from entering the field. Her antics have seen her ranked as the #1 party girl at the #1 party school in the US – making her the #1 party girl in the nation. And her school teachers all said she’d never amount to anything!
The rest of the real-life Ke$ha‘s Twitter feed (which is mainly a commentary of her constant drinking and complaints about the bits of college that aren’t drinking) is worth a look if you want to feel better about yourself.
She’s spent the last ten hours or see retweeting mentions of her, both positive:
Move over Miley, @Vodka_samm is now America’s Sweetheart.
— Harry Adams (@theharryadams) September 1, 2013
and not so positive:
There may be a Darwin Award in @Vodka_samm‘s future. #iowacity
— BoomersForehead (@BoomersForehead) September 1, 2013
She’s got no time for the haters though, responding with a glowing self-appraisal of her study habits:
Ive gotten so many hate tweets because I was drunk…uh I get good grades sorry for being like every other college student
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) September 1, 2013
Given that we’re a nation who can boast a world-record speed beer sculler among our ex-Prime Ministers, we can’t be too harsh on Vodka_Samm. The only thing we think she’s really guilty of is still using #YOLO in September, 2013.
